I Don't Understand

Sometimes I understand why people do what they do. And sometimes I don't. 

Case in point. I was in a children's program recently where the presenter talked about and showed live animals (turtles and snakes). There were lines marked on the floor where the children should sit with instructions to stay within the lines and leave room for her to walk around so everyone could see. Some enthusiastic kids had to be reminded once or twice of the rules, and one or two went to sit with their parents when the temptation to get closer to the animals was too much. And then there was the toddler who didn't want to be there.

During the program, we learned that male box turtles
have bright orange eyes while females have
duller yellow-brown eyes.
(photo from Marylandbiodiversity.com)

She came into the meeting room fussing and crying. It was obvious she was tired, and it was hard for her to hold it together. She was there with her mother, an older sister, and another family. Perhaps the little girl was out during nap time so her sister could see the show. I don't know. However, the only way she would be quiet was if she were allowed to roam freely about the room. Which meant that she went to the front and stood beside the presenter, clearly in the no-go zone and in the way. I didn't expect the toddler to understand, but I expected her mother to understand. The mother would let her daughter stand in the front for a while, then join her, blocking the view of several kids. Eventually, mom would literally drag the toddler to the side, and a tantrum would ensue. Rinse, lather, repeat. So the toddler and the mother were either in the way of the presenter or making enough noise that you couldn't hear the presenter. Finally, the fussy toddler and mother were asked to go outside and invited to come back when the toddler was ready. I understand that the mother probably didn't want to leave her older daughter in the program while she stepped outside into the hallway, but they were there with another family, so the older daughter (7 or 8) had adults watching her. 

So why didn't the mother consider how her child's behavior affected the other 90 people in the room? All of the other grownups handled their kids when they were disturbing others. Some stepped outside with babies who were crying. The toddler's mom could have done the same before she was asked. Was she so used to a fussy child that she didn't think anyone noticed? Was it a cultural thing where more is tolerated from children than it is in our society? Was she just one of those people who doesn't read social cues very well? I don't really know, but I do know that I don't understand. 

Note: When Ward read this, he said that I should say that I was annoyed and frustrated with the situation because of how much I complained about it when I got home. He's right. I was really annoyed.

(Actually, there are many more behaviors that I don't understand these days, but they are much too serious to discuss here.)

Help me understand

Recently, a friend of Miss Landers, Jack, passed away and she helped his wife with a luncheon after the funeral. Among other things, she decorated 10 round tables with centerpieces depicting things that were part of Jack's life. One table had toy car mustangs and a map representing a hobby of his, another had books from a famous author that he was friends with, and yet another had a group of Beanie Babies showing that he was an animal lover. The other tables were decorated in a similar way and really gave a good idea of who Jack was. It was a total surprise to his wife and she was quite moved by it. Miss Landers bought some of the things she used to decorate with and borrowed other things from friends and family.

Now here's the part you have to help me understand. People started leaving with parts of the centerpieces. Not just one person, but many. Miss Landers was able to stop a couple of people from taking things that she had borrowed, but they had no explanation when they gave them back to her. They just gave them back.

What do you think was going on? There was no announcement to help yourself or suggestion that there would be a drawing for them. They weren't in a basket by the door suggesting that they were “party favors” for the grieving crowd. Was this a custom that I don't know about? Or was this just a crowd mentality where one person took something and everyone else followed? Or was this just tacky behavior that was totally inappropriate especially in the setting it was in? Help me understand.