The way people think is very complex, but I usually think of it in this way for myself. I have my logical mind where I can logically think things through, understand situations and their implications, and make good decisions. Then there's my emotional mind where I react instead of act, I'm upset but not sure why (look out when I'm in one of those moods), and I ruminate over things. And unfortunately, my emotional mind is usually playing catch up with my logical mind. My logical mind keeps talking, but it takes a while for my emotional mind to listen.
And that's what's been going on during the last month or so. As you know, after years of idle talk about what Ward and I wanted to do in the future, the future jumped out and tripped us. All at once we were in the midst of buying and selling a house. And I mean, it was only four days from our first talk with a real estate agent until we had a contract. And our heads haven't stopped spinning since then.
Well, a week ago an important piece of the puzzle fell into place--meaning that we actually closed on the new house. After signing the papers, we went to claim our newly purchased house. But instead of being excited, I felt scared and sad when we went inside. I definitely wasn't happy. All I could think of was, "What had we done?"
I cried. I lost sleep. I yelled at Ward. It was not a pretty picture. I tried to convince myself that it was only a house and Ward and I would be happy wherever we were. I tried to remember how much I liked the house when we first saw it. But once again, my logical mind was way ahead of my emotional mind.
And then one day, my muddled thoughts became clearer. It was not the house that was the problem, it was the emotions that it triggered involving my own parents. You see, we bought the house from a 94 year-old woman who had reached the point where she could no longer live alone in a big house and had to move. Just like my mother did 8 months ago. This woman's husband died three years ago, just when my father died. For me, the emotions that came with aging parents were represented in that house. After I figured this out, I started to feel a little better. Because the house was really just a thing, it was not the people in it. Like most everything else, it was just stuff. In fact, I walked around saying, "It's just stuff," all the time.
And then a couple of days ago, an interesting thing happened. Aunt Martha and I were at the new house cleaning floors and I found something in the back corner of one of the closets. It was a little fishing sinker--just like the ones my father used to make. And it made me smile. I'm not sure if I believe in signs, but I took it as one. I thought it was my father's way of telling me that we had done the right thing. That this was the house for us and we were going to be happy there. And we will. :)
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
I couldn't let another week go by without doing a Second Look, so I did an abbreviated one this week--meaning I looked around on my way to the mailbox. As you know, things are very busy around here as we orchestrate a move. And if the truth be told, I don't want to deal with the warranty on the air conditioner, the leak in the garage, or tile for the new bathroom. I'd rather be discovering my new yard and transferring some of the things from this yard. Soon enough that will happen. I just have to remember to appreciate the nature around me wherever I am. It really does ground me.
Here are a few things I saw this week
during a Second Look.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
I am thankful for signed papers.
Hundreds of signatures later, we now own two houses. Next we're waiting on the contractor to see when he can start. Included in this is floor work, so there is very little we can move until it is done. In the meantime, we continue to get rid of things here and make lists of what need to be done. Lots of lists. However, for every step forward on this move, I am thankful.
|Uncle Billy and Aunt Martha stopped by|
and helped us install new door locks.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Things are still moving here at a pace that is too fast for my liking, so I didn't get a chance to take photos for a Second Look this week. Here's what this week looked like a year ago. I've made comments under the photos to compare them to this year.
Here are a few things I saw last year
during a Second Look.
|Sedum--Autumn Joy |
This year, they are about a week behind in blooming. They have just started.
|Bumblebee on purple sage. |
The sage is in it's second set of growth for the season and it's still a favorite with the bees.
The ever-faithful marigold is doing well. All of this years plants came from these plants from last year.
|Queen Anne's Lace|
I haven't seen any of this blooming recently.
|The name of this plant escapes me at the moment. It comes back every year like a weed. Sometimes I let it grow and sometimes I don't. This year I left it alone and it's making a nice show in one of my beds.|
|Skipper Butterfly on purple sage (view from below)|
The little butterflies are still around. I spent Sunday with my buddy, Sarah, and we spent most our time watching butterflies and bees on flowers at the church.
I don't have many of these this year and they have the most blooms on them now of all season. They always brighten up wherever they are.
This is an annual that I didn't grow this year. I planted zinnias instead.
I have a different kind of begonia this year. They are doing quite well especially since I got them on clearance. You never know when you get plants like that.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
|At the fair, the 4-H kids show animals. This calf was one of them this year.|
Every year during the second weekend in September, my town has a community fair. It's an old fashioned fair with exhibits of canned goods, garden produce, and handicrafts of all kinds. There's an ice cream making contest, a pet show, a cake auction, and a tractor pull. There's lots more with a little something for just about everyone. And I really enjoy it.
However this year with everything going on, I said that I wouldn't enter anything or maybe even go. There were other priorities. However, as the fair approached, I started to get a little twitchy thinking about it. And on Thursday, the day to enter things, I couldn't help myself. All of the phone calls and sorting would just have to wait. I was going to enter some things in the fair.
When you enter things at the last minute, there's a lot of things you can't do. However, I managed to gather up some walnuts, flower specimens, a necklace and felted purse I had made. Entering things is part of the fun. I waited in line and talked to others about what they were entering. We talked about the rain during the fair last year and if the favorite local restaurant is ever going to open again. And it's kind of funny, but I feel that if I have seen something go through the entry process, it's sort of mine too. When I go back later with Ward, I always show him the things I saw when I was waiting in line and I check to see if they won any ribbons.
|My felted purse was the black and red one.|
On Friday, there's another tradition that I continued. After work, I met my sister at the fair and we scoured the exhibits to see if we got any ribbons. Then we had a hot dog that they grill to your exact specifications. (I'm a charred dog kind of person.) This supports the local fire department.
Last night, I took Ward back and I showed him the ribbons I won, and we looked at all of the exhibits. BTW, I got first places for some flowers, walnuts, and my felted purse. I know that they are very liberal with their judging, but seeing a blue ribbon on my things always brings a smile.
So this year, I did enjoy the community fair. And I'm glad I did. All work and no play, was making June a dull girl.