X is for eXhale

Upon wakening this morning, I got the sad news that my Aunt Debbie died last night in her sleep. Then came a big gasp. And an exhale before the tears started to flow.  My uncle had been sick for months and was recovering from one surgery and waiting to get strong enough for two others.  So, it was a surprise to hear that she was the one who passed.

My aunt never left my uncle's side during the weeks he spent at the hospital. After 63 years together, they still held hands in their matching wheelchairs and it made for a very sweet picture. She died at home sleeping beside my uncle, just where she wanted to be.

Aunt Debbie was a happy person with a great laugh and I always enjoyed being around her. Last year at a family gathering, she told a great story about when she and my uncle met that I shared with you. I'm going to share it again now as I remember Aunt Debbie's smile and laugh as she told the the tale.

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An Interesting Question

Last weekend I went to a family reunion on my father's side of the family. Besides the normal catching up, there was a theme throughout the day. How did your parents meet? This all started because I found a newspaper clipping in one of my mother's scrapbooks about my oldest aunt's wedding in 1948. It got me thinking that I had heard the story about how my parents had met, but none of the accounts of how my aunts and uncles first got together. I asked around and heard bits and pieces of stories from various cousins about their parents. However, I was able to get one of the stories straight from the source--Aunt Debbie and Uncle Alan.

Debbie and Alan told the story of when they first laid eyes on each other at a church Christmas play. Upon seeing my uncle standing at the back of the church in a leather jacket, my aunt declared that was the man she going to marry. It didn't seem to matter that her fiancee at the time was sitting right beside her. They wove a quite colorful story of the complications of fiancees and girlfriends with my aunt even telling my uncle that she was engaged, but only on weekends.

While I immensely enjoyed the tale of their first meeting and courtship, there was another part that I found even more interesting. My aunt asked each one of her suitors, including my uncle, a curious question, "If you were going to build a city, what would you do?" Among other things, Uncle Alan answered that he would design one like Washington, D.C., with a center circle and streets going out like spokes from there. I commented to my aunt that that must have been an acceptable answer and she said that Alan was the only one who ever gave her an answer. Her fiancee said she was never going to build a city, so it didn't matter.

Then I asked the obvious question, why did she ask about building a city? Aunt Debbie said that it told her if the suitor could make a plan and if they could dream about the future. I found that very smart of her to question her boyfriends in that way. It seemed to be a good test because she and my uncle have been married for almost 63 years now.

Rest in Peace,  Aunt Debbie.

Help me understand

Recently, a friend of Miss Landers, Jack, passed away and she helped his wife with a luncheon after the funeral. Among other things, she decorated 10 round tables with centerpieces depicting things that were part of Jack's life. One table had toy car mustangs and a map representing a hobby of his, another had books from a famous author that he was friends with, and yet another had a group of Beanie Babies showing that he was an animal lover. The other tables were decorated in a similar way and really gave a good idea of who Jack was. It was a total surprise to his wife and she was quite moved by it. Miss Landers bought some of the things she used to decorate with and borrowed other things from friends and family.

Now here's the part you have to help me understand. People started leaving with parts of the centerpieces. Not just one person, but many. Miss Landers was able to stop a couple of people from taking things that she had borrowed, but they had no explanation when they gave them back to her. They just gave them back.

What do you think was going on? There was no announcement to help yourself or suggestion that there would be a drawing for them. They weren't in a basket by the door suggesting that they were “party favors” for the grieving crowd. Was this a custom that I don't know about? Or was this just a crowd mentality where one person took something and everyone else followed? Or was this just tacky behavior that was totally inappropriate especially in the setting it was in? Help me understand.