Recently, a friend of Miss Landers, Jack,
passed away and she helped his wife
with a luncheon after the funeral.
Among other things, she decorated 10 round tables with centerpieces
depicting things that were part of Jack's life. One table had toy car
mustangs and a map representing a hobby of his, another had books from a famous
author that he was friends with, and yet another had a group of
Beanie Babies showing that he was an animal lover. The other tables
were decorated in a similar way and really gave a good idea of who
Jack was. It was a total surprise to his wife and she was quite moved
by it. Miss Landers bought some of the things she used to decorate
with and borrowed other things from friends and family.
Now here's the part you have to help me
understand. People started leaving with parts of the centerpieces. Not just one person, but many. Miss Landers was able to stop a couple of people from taking
things that she had borrowed, but they had no explanation when they
gave them back to her. They just gave them back.
What do you think was going on? There
was no announcement to help yourself or suggestion that there would
be a drawing for them. They weren't in a basket by the
door suggesting that they were “party favors” for the grieving
crowd. Was
this a custom that I don't know about? Or was this just a crowd
mentality where one person took something and everyone else followed?
Or was this just tacky behavior that was totally inappropriate
especially in the setting it was in? Help me understand.
Wow... that's sorta bizarre. I've been at many memorials where the family brings belongings of the deceased and asks people to take one as a memento. Perhaps someone assumed this was the case and everyone else just followed suit? I dunno...
ReplyDeleteI have never been to a memorial where they asked you to take things belonging to the deceased but perhaps that was what was going on. But I think that you would wait for the announcement.
DeleteOne would think...
DeleteI think it's weird--maybe people were thinking of weddings, when oftentimes table decorations are also party favors??? Funny thing about party favors for weddings is ... I don't want them. I don't need more clutter in my life so I try to not take anything (unless someone hosting the event presents me with one and then it seems rude to refuse, even though I know it will end up at Goodwill!). Anyway, to get back to your question ... I have no idea what people were thinking.
ReplyDeleteI will confess, I had an incident once where I embarrassed myself ... my best friend and I were traveling through Canada. We stopped at a bakery and I saw what appeared to be small sample-size cookies near the register, so I helped myself (in my defense, I asked my friend if she thought they were samples and she said "yes"). After we paid, the cashier said, "By the way, those aren't samples, they are for sale". I was VERY embarrassed but she wouldn't take any money. My friend and I still laugh about my faux pas!
This couple renewed their vows a few months ago and did give out favors--tea balls. But those had ribbon around them and were in baskets and were all the same.
DeleteWere the cookies good? I would have been embarrassed also. Do you ask now before you take something you think is a sample? :)
The cooky wasn't good enough to cover my embarrassment! I NEVER take anything unless there's a huge "sample" sign on it. My though on your situation is ... sometimes nice people do thoughtless things or misinterpret things ...
DeleteWell, they couldn't have all been bad people if they were friends with the man who died and his wife. The whole story was just a new thing for me that I didn't understand.
DeleteSometimes people do the strangest things, don't they? My guess is that 1 person misinterpreted what the items were for, took one, others saw, and they followed suit. Group mentality, "if they did it, it must be okay".
ReplyDeleteShe put signs at each table saying things like, "Animal Lover." I guess under that she should have written, "Do Not Touch" which seems tacky in itself.
DeleteWow, I guess I just go to the wrong memorials. The ones I have attended just have pictures of the deceased. I am hoping beyond hope that this was just mob mentality and follow the leader.
ReplyDeleteWhen my father died, we had a table with both pictures and mementos. Thankfully, no one touched those.
Delete