I'm joining the Tuesday 4

I read several blogs that participate in the Tuesday 4 ,so I thought I would join in this week. Here it goes.

This is the first picture I posted on my blog.
It was on my second post from which
came the idea for my Second Look series.

 

1.  Tell us about your blog.  When did you start blogging?

My blog is a personal blog with no particular focus unless you say that I like to share more flower and nature photos than any other kinds. I started blogging April 2011. 10 Years! I'm amazed that I've been doing it that long. And while there have definitely been ebbs and flows in my posting, I don't think I've gone more than a couple of weeks without posting over the past 10 years. Once again, I'm amazed. I didn't think I had that much to say, and perhaps, if you read some of the posts, you will agree. But sometimes, when I am able to express my thoughts and feelings in a clear and meaningful way, I feel like that maybe I do have something to share.

2.  What prompted you to begin blogging?

 Originally, I had stories that I wanted to tell, but soon learned that they were not my stories to tell. They involved others and out of respect for their privacy, I didn't share most of them. Over time, bits and pieces of some of the stories have come out, but most of the original material I thought I might write about is still bouncing around in my head.

My third post was about my cat, Annie.

3.  What was your first blog about and why did you choose that subject/title?

My very first blog post was titled, "What's in a Name?" and discusses how I came up with the title, Live and Learn-Toss and Turn. It's too complicated to explain here, so I will rerun that first post soon.
 

4.  How has your blog changed over time, and has it done for you what you hoped it would do in the first place?

In the beginning, I was trying to find a voice for my blog. Since I wasn't going to share the personal stories I had planned, I tried different things. I did cooking and recipe posts. I participated in food waste groups. I did my own set of inspirational sayings and photos. I documented some of our visits to various places both local and far away. I collected stories of others first memories of school. 

But I really hit my stride when I started doing my Second Look posts. Every Wednesday, I would explore my yard and look for details that I might otherwise not notice. We inherited an overgrown large yard that was hard to control and it wasn't until I started doing the Second Looks, that I truly appreciated it for it's beauty instead of  the work it needed. I also learned a lot about nature as I researched a bug, bone, or plant I would find. 

Looking for the positive in my yard spilled over into other parts of my life and in general made me a happier person. Four years ago, we moved into a new house with a smaller, better contained yard and the Second Look posts didn't inspire me in the same way as they did before. Eventually, I dropped them as a regular feature. I miss them and would like to find another focus to replace them. Someday...

My blog didn't turn out how I imagined, but it did something that I had never imagined that it could. It gave me a whole new set of friends that I would have never had the chance to know without it. Because of that, my little blog has exceeded all expectations and for that I am very thankful.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Today is my father's birthday. He would have been 95 years old. My sisters and I are going to Dairy Queen in his memory because he loved ice cream and had it almost every day. Below is an updated post I wrote about him that I'm rerunning as I remember him today.

My father as a teen.
He started earning adult wages at 10
because of how hard he worked.

I think about my father every day, but today, I've been thinking, in particular, about the things he taught me.  In no special order, here are a few.

1. Life isn't fair, but that shouldn't stop you from succeeding. My father was the oldest boy in his farm family. That meant that farm work was more important for him to do than attending school. As a result, he often missed school and eventually dropped out of high school because of it. It wasn't fair because other kids (and siblings) got to go to school regularly. But he didn't dwell on that. He learned to work hard and be highly successful at anything he attempted. While I don't have quite the same amount of grit as my father did, I do try to move ahead when life throws me a curve without spending too much time in "Woe's me land." (By the way, he got his GED in the Army and aced every single test he took there in his engineering and bridge building courses.)


2. It's okay to not be the life of the party. My father didn't like crowds, so he didn't attend many things where there were more than a few people gathered. But he had many friends because one on one, he was a talkative, interesting person.  I am much like my father in that I am more comfortable one on one with someone instead of in a group. So even in a society that values gregariousness over quietness, I learned that it is okay to be one of the quiet ones.

My father talking to his two younger brothers on
the farm where they grew up. Notice his uniform. :)

3. Comfort and function win out over fashion every time. My father had a uniform so to speak. You would usually find him donned in a gray work shirt and Lee jeans with army socks. The clothes were comfortable and fit his outdoor lifestyle. When I was younger, I didn't quite understand the lack of variety in my father's clothes. But now, I see the wisdom in his choices from saving time while shopping to feeling good in what you're wearing. Perhaps because I'm female, I have varied things a bit more than my father did. I buy my shirts in several different colors instead of sticking with just one. :)

4. Where there's a will, there's a way.  While we had all of our basic needs met while we were growing up, there was not much extra money. But that didn't mean that we missed out on a lot. For example, we had season passes to the swimming pool because my father did work for the pool for free. Also, he was a great barterer, as well as retrieving things others had cast away. His favorite was what he would find floating in the river while he was fishing. We got all of our lawn chairs this way. He showed me that when the easy ways of doing things are not available, it doesn't mean that you can't figure out another way to do it.

5. It's okay to treat yourself.  My father worked very hard. He was a lineman and spent long days, often in bad weather, doing very strenuous and dangerous work. But every single night he a had a bowl of vanilla ice cream. A simple but satisfying treat at the end of a long day. I try to remember when I get busy that it's okay to stop and enjoy a treat. We all need a break and something special from time to time. 

A cross stitch my sister did of father doing his lineman duties.

6. Freckles are fun, but wear your sunscreen. My father had red hair, fair skin, and plenty of freckles. My sisters and I all took after him in that way. Most of his life was spent outdoors without the benefit of sunscreen and he paid for it in his later years with many skin cancers. By example, he showed us that sunscreen and regular checkups with the dermatologist are very important.

7. You can break the cycle. My grandfather was not the best father to my father. Grandpa handled the difficulties in his life with alcohol and did not always provide a kind or stable environment for his kids-especially the older ones. Instead of practicing what he knew, my father was a different kind of father to us. We grew up in an incredibly stable environment and never had to worry about any of our basic needs being met. Along with my mother, he also encouraged education as an important part of our future. He showed me that you can overcome whatever difficulties have happened in the past. Not that it is ever easy, but it can be done. 

I'm going to have ice cream today using
 the same bowl and spoon my father did.
Yes, this is in addition to going to the Dairy Queen.
I think he passed his ice cream gene down. :)

8. If you have, give. The classic example of this is the large amount of vegetables my father gave away every year. Even in the years when we canned and froze hundreds of quarts of things, there were always extras for others. In the empty nest years, my father continued to raise huge gardens that supplied many people with fresh vegetables. But it didn't stop there. A tool, a fishing pole, a knife, if my father thought you might like something, he would give it to you. Or at the very least, make a very good trade so it would be easier to accept. His generous spirit showed me that it's easy to make the day of someone else with very little effort.

9. Connections to nature are vital. My father grew up outdoors on a farm, and later, both his job and leisure time were spent outdoors. It was where he was most comfortable and came alive. Even when he was winding down his life, he kept his connection to the outdoors through the window of his nursing home watching deer from his wheelchair. While I don't spend all of my time outdoors, I have learned that the connections to nature are important for my mental health just like my father.

10. We all have differing abilities. While my father had great spatial awareness, I do not. At all. While my father was an expert marksman whether with a rubberband, gun, or bow and arrow, I am not. While my father never got motion sickness, I always do. While my father could ably whistle any tune, I cannot. But you know what? He never said that I should be able to do all of those things or anything in particular. He just expected me to do the best I could with the talents I had. And that was a freeing thought.

I think most of us could talk for days about the things we learned from our father in one way or another. And I am one of them. But 10 seems like a nice round number, so I'll stop here for today.

Beating the Heat

Hope you're staying safe and finding ways to beat the heat. The hot weather has me thinking about what we did during the hot summers when I was growing up. The only air conditioner we had in the house was a window unit in my parent's bedroom, and it was only run at night for them to sleep. I can remember days in front of the fan and visiting the few stores in town that had AC for some relief. The favorite was the Factory Outlet, which was the outlet for the local sweater factory. Always a bargain to be had there, but you had to inspect the merchandise carefully to see if you could live with the defect. 

The movie theater was also air conditioned, so a movie was a real treat for several reasons in the summer. They only played B movies and I saw a lot of old Disney and Elvis Presley movies there.  It cost a quarter for kids at that point in time, so all four of us could go for only a dollar. We lived in town, and were able to walk to all of these places. That way we didn't have to depend on our parents for a ride. That gave us more flexibility which we appreciated.

We also went swimming at the city pool. My father would do electrical work for them at the beginning of the season which would earn us a season pass. The pool was a mixed blessing. This was back in the days before sunscreen, so we four, fair-skinned sisters, had more sunburns than we liked. And when we got one, we had to wear a T-shirt over our swimsuits until it healed. I didn't like the T-shirts, but those were the rules. Also, my mother would give us 2 hours from the time we left home until we got back. It was a 15 minute walk each way, so that gave us an hour and a half there. Not nearly as much time as the popular kids got, but was probably smart considering the sun. And, of course, we went no where if our work list wasn't completed.

Back to the here and now. Most, if not all places, I go have AC, including our house. I am very thankful for that. To beat the heat, I've been working in the yard during the early morning and late evening when it's not quite so hot.  Despite the hot weather, there are still things thriving and here are a few of them.

Day lily

Bachelor buttons

Marigold

House wrens just before they fledged. The nest was crowed with 7 in there. The nest wasn't empty for long. As of yesterday, there were 3 more eggs in it.

Dianthus

Day lily

Cloudy sunset

Rising full moon

This and That

Ward built new flower boxes for the porch. He put rails on the bottom so they can't fall off the railing.

 

We're keeping busy here with nothing special--just the daily happenings of every day life. 

Work has been very busy. People are finally allowed back in the library and they are coming in droves. Well, maybe not droves, but enough to keep us hopping. It can be frazzling at times, but it gives me more opportunity to learn new things. And speaking of books, my entire book club is going to meet in person here next month. It's the first time that we've all been together in over a year because we've been meeting virtually. 

Also, we continue to work on plans for a kitchen remodel. It's a very long process. Right now, we're tweaking the final layout and looking at tiles, countertops, etc. We have been shopping on and off for several months for appliances, and hopefully, are going to purchase those during the current 4th of July sale. If you want to coordinate the look of your appliances, you need to buy the same brand. However, no one brand has a great product across the line. One has a very good dishwasher, but the range has problems. Another has a good dishwasher, but the fridge is awkward to use, and so on.  This had made the decision making process more complicated than I like. Oh, well. It may take several months for the appliances to come in, but that's okay, because it will be many months before our cabinets are built. The plan now is to just accumulate stuff in our basement and when most of it is here, the contractor will start work. There's no way to coordinate all of the materials at this point because of the supply problems that still exist due to COVID. Maybe the price of lumber will be down by the time they start construction. 

A sampling of a harvest one day. For the first time, I dried the carrots tops to be used like parsley.

The garden is doing okay. We're done with radishes and peas now and about done with broccoli and cabbage. The weather is getting too warm for them, not to mention the worms that are devouring them. There's only a little lettuce left because it's too hot for it, also.  We got enough cherries from our tree for a pie, but that's all. However, that's more than last year when we didn't get any before a mold infected them. We also have green tomatoes and blossoms on the, peppers, cucumbers and zucchini. The onions are growing slowly and there are a few more beets and carrots to be harvested. Our garden beds are a drop in an bucket compared to what I grew up with, but they keep us entertained with the added benefit of fresh vegetables.

If I ever want to get this posted, I should stop now. So I will. Until next time...

Happy Father's Day

 Ward is a great father, so I thought I would interview him this Father's Day to get his perspective on on the important job of parenting.  I didn't time things very well and waited until he was in the middle of a work project to talk to him. Oops! I very kindly thank him for the time he was able to give me during my interruption.

Tell me about being a father. 

Newborn Wally. This is when the doubts began.

It's spending your life not being sure what you are supposed to do. How much do I help my kids? How much do I protect them? How much do I give them? How much do I let them fail to learn? Even now that Wally and Theo are adults, I still worry about those things.

As you mentioned Wally and Theo are adults now. What do you see when you look at them?
I see responsible, kind people who can hold an intelligent conversation and who know how to handle disappointment. Also, I see good drivers and I am thankful that all of that stressful time of teaching them how to drive seems to have paid off.

Even though you were unsure of what you were doing, you have successfully raised two boys to adulthood. What advice do you have for new dads? 
I'm not sure. I still don't know if I have parenting figured out. But I'll give it a try. Educate yourself, but also use your common sense. Spend time with you kids and let them learn from your examples.

But here's something that Wally said the other day that may be the real key to successful parenting. He said that the best thing we did as parents was to keep trying. We'd try one thing to solve a problem and it wouldn't work. And then we'd try something else and it wouldn't work. We'd try another thing and it wouldn't work either. But finally we'd try something and it would work! He is very grateful the many times we didn't give up when it would have been a lot easier. So for new dads, I'd say, just keep trying.

Thanks. Next time I'll make an appointment and we'll have another conservation about some of the details of raising Wally and Theo.