Happy Birthday, Wally!

Wally, first grade

We are going to celebrate Wally's birthday today. Birthdays often cause reflection, whether they are your own or a loved one's. Children may be the prime candidates for this reflection—at least, they are for me.

When I thought about writing about Wally, several things came to mind, like I often read on other people's social media post tributes: Wally is intelligent, kind, and hardworking, and he has added a richness to my life that I never imagined possible. But when I read one of those tributes (including mine), I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. All of our children are wonderful, especially through our eyes. You would think we all live in Lake Wobegon, where all the children are above average. (Oops! A little of my cynicism slipped out there. 😀) So, instead of a list, I'm going to focus on one of Wally's traits I often admire and try to emulate - the way he handles stressors. Here are a few examples.

--When Wally was in second grade, we went to Disney World during a school break. We had a great time the first day, but that night, Wally couldn't sleep. He said that he kept seeing images from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, and they scared him. So, he took the TV remote to bed with him, and every time he had a scary thought, he pushed a button on the remote to change the channel in his brain. Ward and I learned about this the next morning, and we were pleased that he had figured out a way to take care of things for himself.

--We moved to Maryland from Texas when Wally was 10 years old. It was a big move, and everyone was stressed about it, especially Theo. He was getting in all kinds of trouble at school, and managing him took all of our attention. After a couple of weeks of helping Theo, we realized we still needed to talk to Wally about the move, so I asked how he felt about things. And his answer was simple. He said, "I sat down one day and thought about all the negative things about the move, and then I told myself I was done with them. Now, I only allow myself to focus on the positive things." 

--Wally changed from T-ball to coach pitch around first or second grade. I watched along the sidelines at his first practice when the coach pitched and pitched and pitched until Wally finally hit the ball. There were many more pitches than any of the other kids needed, and I was dying watching it, hoping the coach would stop and say that they could try again later, but he didn't. We generally tried to teach our kids to stick with something, but I was ready to say Wally could quit if he wanted. However, after practice, I asked Wally what he thought. He just said, "It was fun, but I think I need more practice." I had very mixed feelings about that. But Wally stuck out the season. He got better, but not much; however, he was there to have fun, and that's what he did. 

Wally has continued to handle life's difficulties in this way. Of course, as an adult, it's not quite as easy, but he still exercises good coping skills. Good coping skills are an area in my life where I am very much a work in progress. So, thank you, Wally, for setting a good example for me to follow. 

Happy Birthday!

Note: I didn't include examples from Wally's recent years. Those are his to write about if he wants, but I will respect his privacy. Maybe, I'll ask him if he wants to share any. And the answer will probably be, as it usually is, "No, thank you."

Thankful Sunday, April 5, 2020

I am thankful for Wally.

Of course, I am thankful for all of my family, but today is Wally's birthday, so he gets a special shout out.

Wally is an adult now, but it in some ways, it seems like it was only yesterday when he joined our family. He was born in New Orleans after a complicated trip to the hospital and a confusing labor. He had a full head of dark hair and was the sweetest and calmest baby--for about 24 hours. Then our world changed. He slept little, ate voraciously, and cried most of the time inbetween. He still eats a lot and sleeps little. Thank goodness the crying finally died down.



As time progressed, he grew into a very active and curious boy who liked to see how things worked. One time, when he was three, Wally took apart Theo's crib when both of them were supposedly taking a nap. Luckily, no one was hurt as the bed collapsed around his brother. Another time, he took the bathroom door off it's hinges. He, also, loved to build things. Unfortunately, it never seemed to be anything he took apart.

Wally thinks about people and what makes them happy. When he was four, he asked us if poor people were happy. That was a hard one to explain to a four year old. As he grew older, he seemed to have a special appreciation for the senior population. Everyone on both sides of the family was especially thankful for the help he gave his grandparents while they were learning to use computers. He was patient, clear and never got frustrated. He showed these same abilities when he worked as a pharmacy tech when he was first out of school.

Growing up, Wally loved being outdoors and never met a stick or rock he didn't like. That was a perfect fit for Boy Scouts and he eventually became an Eagle Scout. As is his nature, he took his oath very seriously and tried to live up to it. Except when he didn't, because after all he is human. But I won't go into that right now.

Now as an adult, Wally is an independent, productive member of society who tells me not only is he happy, he is content. What more could a parent ask for? Nothing.

Happy Birthday, Wally!