A Christmas Visit--Part One

Before Christmas my emotions were running deep as I was trying to come terms with the fact that it was time for my mother to move into an extended care facility. I knew that it was the best thing for her, but also grieved as I thought about her leaving the home she had been in for many decades and the one I grew up in.

And then suddenly, a few days before Christmas, there was an opening. That turned up the emotions another notch as I thought about my mother spending Christmas away from home. But you gotta do, what you gotta do. As a result of this, my sister and I spent almost a week with her around Christmas helping her get settled in.

We spent long days in the new place trying to find the right balance between helping my mother and letting her adapt on her own to her new surroundings. During this time, we made friends with the staff. They were a friendly, professional, hard working, and funny group. We were happy that they were caring for our mother. (Interestingly enough, my mother was a nurse who worked on this unit many years ago and some of the current staff actually worked with her then.)

However, we had the best time meeting some of the other residents. I have been in several nursing homes before, but always with short visits to a particular person. Never long enough to get to know others like I did this time. There were a variety of people there, but most of them were in there 80's and 90's. A few of them had lost there ability to communicate in the traditional ways, but always responded well to eye contact and a smile. With others, it took a little time to figure out where their mind was taking them at that time, and yet others were always with you in the here and now. The biggest hindrance in the initial meetings was the hearing loss most of them suffered. However after the first meeting, we usually figured out how to communicate without much difficulty.

Some of them had lots of visitors and some had none, but they all were eager to tell their story--where they grew up, what their jobs had been, and who their family was. After a day or two, the conversations grew more intimate. Thelma told me about how it frustrates her that people think residents in places like this aren't smart. She said that most were quite smart. Bertha told me that she didn't like the holidays and couldn't wait for them to be over. They always made her sad.  Emmogene told me how she was praying for my mother to get better.

The best day was Christmas Eve when Santa came to visit and brought multiple presents to each resident. He also had his picture taken with each person including my sister and me. Everyone was eager to see what was in their packages and we were as eager as they were. Even Bertha, who was sad at Christmas, was having a good time. So like Bertha, the Christmas I was dreading was actually turning out to be okay.

I'm home now and while I'm still trying to grasp this new phase of my mother's life, I feel much better. She seems to be adjusting and I know that she is surrounded by good people. I'm looking forward to the next visit to see my mother and all of the new friends I made.

Unfortunately, out of respect for others, I can't show any of the pictures from my visit.

Holiday update

The cats like the box they got for Christmas. They are taking turns with it.
This was Annie's turn.

It's time for a brief stop in during this holiday season. The days have been going by fast and furious with stories to tell. Even though on the surface, this seems like one of the most difficult Christmases I've had, it also has been one of the most meaningful and fun. More to come on that.

I spent Christmas day and a few others visiting my mother. Ward and the Boys stayed back and spent Christmas with Ward's family. New Year's Day, Ward, Wally, Theo and I will have a Christmas celebration in our immediate family. In between, it looks like an explosion went off in our house trying to keep up with all of the moving parts and not quite succeeding. However, slow and steady wins the race or perseverance pays off or something like that. I know things will eventually settle down.

In the meantime, I hope that all of you have had a calm and meaningful Christmas. And if not, pat yourself on the back for surviving it.

Back soon with more details. For right now, I'm still trying to clean off the couch so we have a place to sit.

Thankful Sunday--December 20, 2015

I am thankful for Christmas fun.

Even though I have been distracted by other things, I've managed to have some fun this Christmas season. And for these fun times, I am thankful.






We have Christmas lights up outside. Nothing fancy, but just enough to put a smile on my face when I come home in the dark (which these days is before 5 PM).











We have our tree up and Wally and Theo were home for the decorating. A win-win situation. These are also lights I enjoy in the evening (and the morning.) We have a lot of dark these days.











Santa visited our street the other night riding on a fire engine. For the past few years, Santa has been too busy to visit this way, so it was a fun surprise to see him again with his firefighter friends. He stopped and talked to all of the kids.












Ward and I went to see the Christmas Carol at the local theater. It was a one man play/reading and it was amazing. After a short while, you forgot that there was only one actor.

And then there were three

Today was the day when we knew it was finally time to let Lucy go. She is in a better place.

Trials

I generally try to be positive on my blog, so it's been hard for me to write a post recently. Below are some ramblings to explain why. Sort of a stream of consciousness.

I am weary. But just not because of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Life keeps marching on and it's not giving me much time to rest. My mother had a fall which resulted in some broken bones. This has brought a whole new set of difficult issues about her care. And while that was going on, we found out that a close family member's cancer has returned.  Add the continual intensive care of a declining cat, and as I said, I am weary.

Christmas can be a fun, joyous time, but for many it's a time of mixed emotions. It's often a time that bittersweet memories of the past are the most intense. Whether it's the first or 30th time of celebrating the holidays without a loved one, it's a difficult time. Thoughts of Ward's sister, who passed away in May, are ever present in the family's mind with both sadness and a determination to Ethool (Enjoy The Heck Out Of Life) as she so wonderfully did despite the adversities she was facing.

Okay, I'm really depressing myself. Time to switch gears. Yes, life goes on and there are ups and downs to it. We have to accept what we can't change and celebrate the gifts we are given each day. For example, the weather has been warm, and I finished one of the gifts I was making and got it in the mail. I had a great holiday party at work where I saw a coworker who has been too ill to come to work for a few months. She's getting better. Our tree is decorated and lights are beautiful at night. I have enough money to pay all of my bills, and I saw a cardinal yesterday. The list is endless when I take time to focus on the positive.

I hope if you are weary this holiday season, it's because you stayed up too late wrapping presents and you're worrying about when you're going to have time to bake the cookies for the neighbors. But if you're weary because life is difficult right now, I hope you are able to rest a little so you can remember some of the things that are a blessing.