Christmas Feelings

 Merry Christmas to one and all! 

I hope everyone is having some peace today as they celebrate (or don't) Christmas. However, I realize that Christmas is not always jolly and bright, and I, too, have mixed emotions. Below is a post I wrote about missing my mother that sums up my jumbled feelings on this joyous day.

Christmas Smiles

My mother, last Christmas

Tears flow easily these days. I miss my mother. I have always heard that the holidays are especially hard when you have lost someone, but I've never really experienced it like this. It's taken me by surprise, because in my logical mind, I thought I would be thinking about all the special Christmases I had with her and feeling sad. But logic is not necessarily at work here. It's not the Christmases I miss. I miss the emotional connection.

My mother had dementia and slowly left us over the years in many ways. It was discouraging and sad to watch, but no matter what her outward appearance was, I always felt a connection between us during my visits. Towards the end, she was usually quiet, often with a distant stare. But then I'd say something, and there would be a little glint in her eye or a slight smile, and I knew that she was communicating in the way that was available to her at that point in her life.  We were connecting, and it made me happy. Before I experienced the last couple of years with my mother, I never would have thought that those difficult times would be the ones I missed the most. But for now, they are.

However, life goes on no matter what the circumstances, and this grief is not consuming my life. It's just a part of it. I am happily preparing for Christmas. I am ahead this year in many things and feeling more relaxed than usual. I am enjoying the Christmas lights and the Christmas music. I am having good times with my sisters and friends. Ward and I are having long talks and making fun plans.

With all of those things, I'm trying to live what my mother taught me up until the end of her life. She kept living even when it seemed to the outside world that life wasn't worth it. So as I think of her little smiles, I smile, too. Through the tears.

The Memory Tree

 Every year when I decorate the tree, it's a trip down memory lane. When the boys lived at home, we would have a family tree-decorating party, and Ward and the boys would politely listen as I told the stories behind the various ornaments. But they weren't really interested. For the past few years, I have decorated the tree by myself. Ward puts up the outside lights, and I put up the tree. It's not a Hallmark moment, but that's okay.

Last weekend, Wally was visiting, and I was showing him some of the ornaments on the tree and having him find ones he remembered.  Then, we told our stories about them. During our conversation, I called our Christmas tree a memory tree.

And for whatever reason, that really struck a chord with Wally, and he was quite moved. He said that the tree represents your life, and it is beautiful. And I guess I knew that, but never thought of it in quite that way.

The tree does represent our life. There are ornaments that Ward and I remember seeing on our grandmother's trees. There are ornaments from our childhood. There are ornaments that decorated our car after our wedding. There are ornaments made by school friends. There are ornaments made by co-workers, friends, and neighbors. There are ornaments from every place we have lived. There are ornaments made by sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, and aunts. There are ornaments from around the world that family and friends have brought us from their travels. There are ornaments that we put on just for the cats. And of course, there are ornaments Wally and Theo made when they were little.

As I think about each and every decoration on the tree, I know that I have had a good life with many blessings, and I look forward to the new memories we will add to the tree this year and in the future.

Until next time...

Book Reviews

I'm taking a break from holiday things to share a few things I've been reading recently.

Heirs and Graces by Rhys Bowen, Adult mystery, 2013

This is #7 in the Royal Spyness Mystery series*. In this book, Georgie is asked to help an Australian heir learn the social graces of the English upper class. Everyone in his "new" family has a beef with the current heir, so guess who winds up dead? Georgie eventually makes a connection and solves the murder.

This was typical of the others in the series, and in the beginning, I was getting tired of it and thought it would be a while before I read another. However, once the real mystery began, I enjoyed the book as much as, or more than, the others I've read.

* The Royal Spyness books follow Georgie, 35th in line to the British Throne, in the 1930s, as she stumbles onto murder after murder. There are castles, rich people, royalty, and many class restrictions that surround the stories. Despite being royalty, Georgie has no money, which causes a set of problems all its own. The stories are in historically accurate settings, and humorous relief is provided by her inept maid, Queenie.

The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer, Adult fiction, 2023

The Wishing Game is a predictable but nicely woven tale. The story revolves around a series of fictional children's books by Jack Masterson about Clock Island. (BTW, these are not real books, but I had to check to make sure because the author has a list of them in the back and quotes different ones.) Wishes are granted on Clock Island after the children learn to be brave. Lucy, when she was 13, went to Clock Island, where Masterson lives, hoping for a resolution to problems she was having at home. Years later, she and 3 other people are invited back to Clock Island as adults to compete for a million dollars. Lucy wants to adopt 7-year-old Christopher, but doesn't have enough money to qualify, so she jumps at the chance.

On the island, there are riddles to solve and challenges to win. And of course, there is the hunky artist who paints the covers for the books, who lives there. And you know where this is going...

Everyone in the book has a past tragedy they are trying to overcome, and the book ends happily, offering hope for all of them. And that's not giving anything away. Like I said, a predictable story, but an entertaining read all the same.

The Personal Librarian by Marie Benedict and Victoria Christopher Murray, Adult historical fiction, 2021

This book was a NYT best seller, NPR book of the year, and a Washington Post notable book of the year.

The book tells the story of Belle de Costa Greene, the personal librarian for J. P. Morgan. Belle helped grow his collection of rare books, manuscripts, and art to be one of the finest in the world. The book begins in 1905 when Belle is recommended for the librarian job by J. P. Morgan's nephew. She gets the job, but Belle has a secret. She is passing as white. She was born "colored" (the term used at the time), but her mother chose to have her children pass as white, as she saw hatred towards blacks increasing. Her father was the first black man to graduate from Harvard and an advocate for black rights. The family separated from him when they decided to live as whites.

Belle became one of the best-known women of her time with her knowledge and success in obtaining rare books and manuscripts. She was a lone female working in a male-dominated world. 

The book was interesting to me as I once again learned about a part of history that I knew nothing about. The only thing I knew about J. P. Morgan was that he was rich. I didn't know anything about his extensive collection that eventually became the public Pierpont Morgan Library, which Belle was director of. 

Having recently read The Vanderbilts, I had insights into many of the parties and people that Belle was intermingling with. I like it when things tie together like that. :) 

There was tension throughout the book over whether Belle's secret would be discovered. And that question was never answered, even in the author's notes about the actual history that the book was based on. A little Googling revealed that during her lifetime, Belle passed successfully as white. It wasn't until research for a 1999 biography on Belle was conducted that it was learned that she was listed as "Colored" on her birth certificate.

I think there are two reasons that this book found its way onto so many "Best of" lists. One is that it covers an important part of history that was not well known, and two, it is a well-written story of a very interesting person.

Ms. Pennypickle's Puzzle Quest by Chris Grabenstein, children's fiction (elementary-middle grades), 2025

Twelve-year-old Ben does nothing but annoy his older brother Ethan. However, Ethan is forced to take a cross-country trip with his brother in the summer before he goes away to college. His parents have promised him a truck if he does that. Ethan grudgingly agrees.

Ben loves to solve puzzles, and at the beginning of the trip, he earns a place to compete for a million-dollar prize by solving a puzzle on a restaurant placemat. 

The brothers are competing with five other couples in the race across the country, where they have to solve puzzles to learn the next destination. One family is eliminated at each stop. The race takes them across historic Route 66, and you learn interesting tidbits about this famous highway along the way. Also, the puzzles that they have to solve are shared, and both of these things make the story more interesting. Predictably, Ben and Ethan learn to cooperate and become closer as the race progresses.

I won't spoil the somewhat implausible ending, but I didn't see it coming. The book is humorous, and I think it would be a good match for an elementary school boy in particular.

Time Flies

It's happened again. It seems like I posted just a few days ago, but it's been a week and a half. So let's play catch-up again.

View out our kitchen window. I hope the neighbors don't mind that their houses show up on my blog. 

We woke up to snow this morning, about 5 inches at our house, but it's really hard to tell because the winds were blowing at 20 mph, creating drifts. That, with a dropping temperature, kept me inside all day. So instead of making a snowman outside, I just enjoyed my bouncy snowman inside.

A friend gave this to me, and I can't help but smile when I see it. 

But before the frigid weather set in, I harvested the last of the turnips, rutabagas, beets, and spinach. Luckily, the ground wasn't frozen hard yet, so I could pull them easily. After we had a good meal for supper, I have them in the garage for storage. I think I have them secured so mice won't be dining on them, but we shall see. 

Turnips and rutabagas. 

Otherwise, we've been working on Christmas prep. The tree is up, the lights are up, and presents are wrapped. At least, mine are. I think Ward is still making some things. We are finalizing the menu for next week when my family gathers for Christmas and my nephew's birthday. Today, I began making sweets to give away, starting with fudge. I love fudge, so I need to give it away sooner rather than later, before I make myself sick "sampling" it. 😋

Poinsettias from last year that are starting to show color.

Better get back to it and start on my next round of goodies.

Until next time...

This and That

 Whoa! How did that happen? It's been over a week since I've checked in here.

I won this Thanksgiving box from a raffle at my bowling group. A lot of nice stuff.

I guess I've been busy transitioning from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Thanksgiving with Ward's family was nice, but alas, we had no leftovers since we didn't host. Any food that was left from what we took, we left for Ward's father. 

The next day, I promptly changed the fall wreath on the front door to a Christmas one. And the next day after that, I realized that I still had two pumpkins on the porch. It was time to retire those, which I did by roasting and freezing them as puree. But, gosh, those things are messy from slimy seeds to stringy pulp. I found orange strings around the kitchen for a few days, and a few pieces in other rooms as well. Pumpkins are sticky!

Seeing pumpkin stuck to various things reminded me of when Wally and Theo were young and decided to play boomball in the dining room (which was really a toy storage room with no dining table). Boomball, for the uninformed, involved a cantaloupe and two excited boys in their own version of handball. Even though we made them clean up the mess, we were finding seeds and cantaloupe for months after that--on the walls, the chandelier, etc. Where were Ward and I while this was going on? Not sure, but I think we were upstairs doing something. Wally and Theo were definitely old enough to be left alone at that point. At least we thought so. :)

And pumpkin wasn't the only thing that has been loose in our kitchen recently. When I was cutting open a round, net bag of cranberries, they all spilled out and went everywhere. They were in the sink and rolling all over the floor. For the next couple of days, I was finding them under things, and one ended up in the knife drawer. Not sure how that happened.

But all is well, and after my adventures in the kitchen, I moved on to Christmas cards. I write some form of a letter every year and usually just send it out on holiday stationery without a card. But this year, I decided I wanted to include the card. I had a few, but needed more. And what a surprise, Walmart only had a handful to choose from. I remember when they took up an entire aisle. I know the way we communicate has changed vastly in the last few years, and fewer people are sending out cards, but I was surprised all the same. Despite this, I am mostly done with that task. 

And Ward, bless his heart (meant in the nice way, not the mean way), has almost finished the outdoor lights. He braved the cold, so I didn't have to. Next up will be the tree, mantel, and other indoor decorations. I'm not sure when those will come out, probably in the next week or two. 

In the meantime, I have a friend visiting from out of town, and we've been having a lot of fun. A couple of nights ago, we went to an open mic night where her son sang. He was good! Very good. I wish we didn't live on opposite coasts.

It soon will be time for bed, so I'd better wrap this up. Hope everyone is staying safe in whatever kind of crazy weather is happening where you are. We're on a winter advisory for tonight and tomorrow.

Until next time...