Good morning, everyone. This is another one of those times when I sit down without a clear point of what I'm going to write about. So come along for the ride if you'd like.
The property backed up to a river.
It's a cold morning, and late fall has finally arrived. Yesterday, Ward and I explored an old family property in Virginia and drove through snow both on the way there and on the way home. Luckily, the snow was mixed with rain, so nothing was sticking to the road. However, areas nearby had half a foot, with more to come.
Briers everywhere!
Speaking of the property, Ward's grandmother bought it over 30 years ago, and it has been untouched since then. This meant there were greenbrier and other thorny vines everywhere among the trees. The vines took every opportunity to reach out, grab us, and hang on. Despite that, we had a good day together, and I enjoyed being out in the woods even though we had thorns to contend with.
The only thing left were the apples.
On the way home, we stopped by an orchard to get some apples and cider. It's a little late in the season, so I was pleased that we were able to find them. There was a building filled with crates of apples, and buying was entirely based on the honor system. Prices were posted, and after you made your selection, you wrote it in a notebook and put your money under a weight on the counter. They said they've been doing it that way for years without any problems.
It was nice to be out in the country where these things happen. Also, we had to walk down a road a bit to get to the property, and two different passing cars stopped and offered help. Once again, this was much appreciated, even though we didn't need any assistance.
Last weekend, I don't know what we were thinking, but Ward and I went shopping on Sunday afternoon. We hit several stores, all of which were crowded to the point that it was hard to find parking. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought it was two days before Christmas.
Something I noticed during our shopping was a plethora of poorly groomed clerks. Several looked like they needed a shower, and one's hands looked like he'd been digging in the dirt. At first, I was annoyed, but after thinking a bit, it may have been that these people don't have easy access to showers, etc., or they have no money and are trying to save water. I just don't know their backstory. They were not serving my food, so I decided not to be annoyed.
Martha Stewart prison pizza
Recently, while I was working, Wally and Ward went on a pub crawl. They brought me home pizza from their last stop. The pizza was named Martha Stewart's Prison Pizza. I'm not sure what made it a prison pizza because I'm pretty sure they don't serve pizza like this in prison, but it was very Martha-Stewart-like, with cheese flowers piped on top. It was delicious.
I have a plan for Thanksgiving, but it's time to kick it into gear. I guess I haven't learned and will be shopping on the weekend for things that can bought ahead of time and making some of the dishes that can made ahead of time.
I think we all remember Hurricane Helene and the devastation it caused in the southern US. 234 deaths were attributed to the storm. But that was "way back" in September, and since then, we've had a major election to distract us, and many have moved on. However, the effects are still very present and real to the people living in the area.
Blog friend Danielle at Sweet Tea Reads lives in North Carolina, one of the hardest-hit areas from Helene. On her blog, she recently posted a personal update and suggestions on things you can do to help. She has kindly given me permission to repost those here. The first will be a personal update, and the second will be about helping. The posts are longer than I usually post, but they are full of important, reliable information. In case you are interested in an update, here they are.
First of all, we have home internet again!We finally got it back at the end of October.It has gone in and out a few times since then, but it seems to be working overall.
I’m going to try to answer all of the questions from my last Helene post, emails, etc.
The first thing everyone wants to know is if things are back to normal. They’re definitely not. We have times when it feels like things are normal again, but I don’t think an entire day has been like it was before.
Everywhere we go, there’s damage. The city and county aren’t able to keep up with picking up the debris, so there are still trees down all over the place. People’s ruined belongings are still piled up next to the street, waiting to be picked up. So many houses were underwater. There’s a lot to pick up.
Most of the parks are still closed. We went a couple of weeks ago to one that was partially re-opened, and there’s still so much damage. Several of the trails and fields aren’t open. We took a trail that went under one of the bridges that was flooded during the storm. We both drive over this bridge almost every day, and it still seems surreal that the bridge was underwater during the worst of the flooding. You can see where storm debris wedged into part of the bridge.
There’s a street sign in a creek.
There’s still a layer of silt on everything that was underwater. You can see a lot of it on this tree.
There are still entire roads gone. Some people are still using footbridges and ATVs to access their communities. We’re some of the fortunate ones who can drive to home and work. But there are still so many roads that are down to one lane or don’t have guardrails. A lot of bridges are still out. Several bridges are down to one lane or don’t have any kind of guardrails.
We had our first significant amount of rain since Helene last week, and it definitely made people a little edgy and anxious. I have a hard time sleeping when it rains at night. There are still so many things that aren’t fixed and roads and trees that are barely hanging on. What would otherwise be minor flooding could potentially cause a lot of damage right now.
Our furnace isn’t fixed yet. We’ve been denied property damage assistance from FEMA because there was “no property damage reported.” We’ve gone in person to the disaster relief center, and I’ve called. Everyone agrees that our application clearly shows property damage. They told us to appeal the decision, so we’re currently waiting for the decision on our appeal. My sister was nice enough to set up a fundraiser for us in the meantime.
That brings me to FEMA. Everyone we’ve dealt with from FEMA has been incredibly nice. And entirely unhelpful. Other people have said the same thing, that FEMA didn’t help them at all, but it was almost hard to be upset about it because they were so nice. No one seems to be able to figure out any kind of pattern or rationale for the assistance people get from FEMA. I’m only sharing firsthand stories from people I’ve known for years, but some of the examples are:
A friend had a very similar thing happen to their furnace. They received a significant portion of the cost of the replacement by early October.
One friend was without power for 12 days and lost all of the food in their fridge and freezer. They’re on a well, so they also had no water and had to get bottled water for everything. They have a medical condition that requires daily nebulizer treatments and had to buy a generator for that. They submitted a letter from their doctor stating as much with their FEMA application. They were denied all aid, including help with food.
Another friend had flooding in their basement. A FEMA inspector came to their house, and they’ve received what they said is more money than it will likely cost to fix all of the damage.
So, really, I think if you asked five different people about their experience with FEMA, you would get five different answers.
A lot of people ask about outside help and media coverage. Initially, there were people from all over. There were so many power trucks from so many different states and even Canada. There were volunteers from all over coming to help with things. But it has been almost two months at this point. People had to go back to their regular lives, and there have been other disasters and problems.
I think, too, everyone thinks of hurricanes as a summertime problem. I certainly never would have thought about hurricane damage causing significant problems heading into wintertime. This article is a good example of what some of the smaller towns are facing.
In reading over this post, I feel like it has turned into a total whine fest, which was not my intention. We are definitely some of the lucky ones. Our house is still standing, and we got through the immediate aftermath with the best neighbors in the world.
And there are moments of normalcy every day now.
The chickens still come over every day for their snack.
The cats are still being adorable.
We all know that things will eventually get back to normal. And I promise my next post will be more cheerful.
I’ve been asked several times since Helene which organizations have been the most helpful here, and I’m going to try to answer that question in this post.Hopefully, without rambling too much.
Please remember, though, that I’m one person in one little piece of western North Carolina. There are over 20 counties in NC alone that were badly affected by Hurricane Helene. I don’t work in emergency management, and I have no experience in responding to disasters. I’m just one person sharing my observations. If you’ve visited much before, it probably won’t come as a surprise that most of the links I share will be for animal rescues, feeding people, and helping first responders. Those are some of the things I care most about.
Please also remember that the entire western part of the state was affected. There are significant terrain and elevation changes between some of the counties affected. In addition to experiencing differing levels of damage, different places are dealing with different types of weather after the event. If one local organization has a particular need, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the entire area will have the same need.
I encourage anyone who plans to donate, particularly money, to do your homework. Visit Charity Navigator, listen to your instincts, and think about what you’re passionate about.
My first suggestion is that, unless you are in direct contact with an individual and/or organization in the affected area, don’t purchase supplies, especially now. From what I’ve observed, it looks like everyone’s first impulse is to run out and buy bottled water to donate. And that is wonderful. To a point. Things and needs change incredibly quickly during and after a disaster. Distribution sites change. I know that early on, bottled water was hard to get and desperately needed. The thought behind the businesses and individuals that gathered bottled water (and diapers, and hygiene supplies) was very kind and well-intentioned. Unfortunately, it seemed like most donations of specific items were arriving one to two weeks after they were most needed. Places were literally tripping over cases of bottled water when they desperately needed propane, charcoal, or medical supplies.
It was incredibly frustrating to see people who had driven twelve or more hours with carloads or truckloads of supplies being turned away from donation sites. I think that also sent the message that things were fine when that absolutely wasn’t the case. It wasn’t a case of people not wanting help or donations. It was simply a matter of space and resources. Most donation and distribution sites were set up at businesses, churches, or government buildings, and due to the damage, there were limited buildings intact and accessible. A lot of those places were still trying to go about their normal (and necessary) business while trying to find space for and distribute supplies. Fire codes still had to be adhered to. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pallet of bottled water, it still can’t block exits and fire escapes.
I don’t mean to sound ungrateful at all. And, honestly, before experiencing this, I was one of the people who thought dropping off bottled water, pet food, feminine hygiene products, etc. at donation drives was a great way to help. After seeing how long it took to get things distributed, I don’t think that’s the best way to help.
If donating physical items is something you feel strongly about, I recommend trying to get in touch with a local organization to find out what their real-time needs are. And be realistic about how long it will take to get supplies to them.
My third suggestion is to be very specific. What is important to you? Are you worried about people going hungry? Donate to a food pantry. Are you worried about animals? Donate to an animal rescue. (There are many, many animal rescues in this area, but I’m not familiar with all of them. These are the ones I’m familiar with and can recommend: Brother Wolf Animal Rescue, Blue Ridge Humane, and Asheville Humane Society. Again, this list does not include every local shelter and animal rescue.) Do you have a particular concern for the medically fragile/vulnerable? Look for an organization that’s providing medical aid.
My next suggestion is to think small. I know that sounds counterintuitive when the damage is so massive and the recovery efforts are going to take labor and amounts of money that I have a hard time comprehending. It’s overwhelming to think about that, though, and it can drive you crazy.
From my experience, it was the small efforts that did and are doing the most good. Local churches did a great job of getting people fed and supplying water. Most of the fallen trees in our neighborhood were cleared by individuals long before any official assistance showed up. I realize that finding smaller efforts to donate to is more challenging. I know there’s not a great way to vet each fundraiser, but I’d recommend visiting GoFundMe. There’s a filter for Hurricane Helene relief, and you can filter it down even more from there. I’ve spent some time browsing the fundraisers there in looking for links to share with this post. Honestly, some of them sound like scams to me. Some of them seem well-intentioned, but not practical or well-planned. Some seem entirely legitimate, there are quite a few for and/or set up by people I know personally, and I know they’re legitimate. Ours is there too, to help replace our furnace. So, how do you know which ones are real and which ones aren’t? I don’t have a definite, foolproof answer to that. My suggestion is to look carefully at the information provided. Was someone willing to put their name on it? What do you find when you Google that name? What do you find if you search that name on Facebook? Do an image search for the pictures to see if they show up anywhere else. How specific is the request? Personally, I find the vague “a family needs money after the hurricane” ones to be a little suspicious. In my opinion, the real ones are usually very specific about helping a specific person/family with a very particular need. If it’s a group or individual raising money for others, what is their exact plan for that money? I think it’s also important to look at what skills they claim to bring to the table. If a big part of the fundraiser is for travel expenses for the group, and they don’t have very specific skills related to rebuilding, in my opinion, there are more effective things to donate money to.
I do want to clarify that we live in a small town and lots of people know each other, so someone else’s experience of smaller, less formal efforts versus larger organizations may be different. I’m basing it on my observations of who helped in our neighborhood, who helped people I know, and who helped the fire departments and other first responders. When one of the fire departments here was running out of food, it was individuals who took care of it. One of Nick’s retired coworkers was determined to make sure the fire department didn’t run out of food. He hitched a trailer to his pickup truck, took his chainsaw, and cut his way down to SC to buy food and gas.
This segues nicely into my next suggestion, which is to support the local fire departments and rescue squads. A lot of these departments are tiny and this will have wiped out their budgets. Many departments lost equipment and stations. They were also the ones going out and rescuing people. Here’s a list of the counties and towns affected. I know it takes time, but look up the fire departments, rescue squads, and police departments/sheriff’s offices in these counties and towns. These are the people who were out there literally saving lives, and they were doing it while dealing with significant damage to their own homes, in some cases going days without being able to reach their own families. Nick works in the emergency services, and I can tell you he didn’t miss any work. These people were working around the clock. Some of these agencies have set up relief funds for responders who are dealing with significant damage. I know I’m a little biased, but I think it makes sense to help the helpers. Here’s a link for the Western NC Association of Firefighters in case it’s helpful to anyone.
Another way to help that doesn’t cost anything is to contact your congressperson and let them know that getting funding for SBA loans is something that’s important to you. In case you’re not familiar (I wasn’t before this happened), they’re not just for small businesses. Homeowners in affected areas can also apply for these loans for necessary repairs. They have better interest rates and overall better repayment options than typical personal or HELOC loans, which helps make the aftermath a little less devastating. Unfortunately, because there’s no funding right now, anyone who didn’t get assistance from FEMA is left with only typical loan options like personal loans or HELOC loans. Letting your congressperson know that this funding is important to you could help.
One more no-cost way to help is to share links for organizations and fundraisers that are helping. As many people have mentioned, western NC isn’t in the news much now. If you come across an organization/relief effort that resonates with you, consider sharing it with your friends, family, and social media contacts.
If you have visited western NC and liked a particular business, look them up. If they’re closed due to damage, see if there are any fundraisers to support them and their reopening.
I do not know anything about them and cannot personally vouch for them, but while I was searching for links for this post I came across the Hospitality Workers Relief Fund. Again, I’m not personally familiar, so do your own research and make your own decisions.
Finally, please know how much your help is appreciated. It’s an entirely different experience being one of the people asking for help rather than someone trying to provide help. It’s hard to describe all of the feelings that come along with it, but I can tell you that it means the world to know that people, in some cases total strangers, care.
What did you operate? Have you ever operated heavy machinery before?
Ward: I have never done anything bigger than my riding lawnmower, except, of course, a regular truck. I drove a Bobcat backhoe.
What kind of instructions did they give you?
Ward: We had a walkie-talkie instrument in the Bobcat's cab, and the instructor talked us through the controls and then gave us tasks to practice. This was, of course, after we had safety instructions—mostly, don't tip yourself over. He was pretty good; he'd say, "Ward, left hand forward, right hand left." You really have to know your right and left; you don't have time to think about it.
What kind of tasks did you do?
Ward: Most of them involved heavy truck tires and a basketball. We stacked the tires and tried to get the basketball in them in various combinations. We also had an obstacle course with traffic barrels we had to drive through.
Ward stacking tires.
Was it hard? What was the most challenging part?
Ward: I shouldn't have been, but I was surprised there were so many controls. And so many different combinations in which they could be used. We had two joysticks that also had buttons or thumb wheels (rotate the cab, open/close the bucket, open/close the bucket grapple, move the forearm, move the big arm, honk the horn), plus foot pedals (drive) and a lever to raise/lower the grading blade. By the end of my hour, I could mostly remember which motion did what action, but I couldn't get to the point where I could do combined motions, such as opening the bucket while extending the forearm while turning the cab while driving forward.
Was this a big place?
Ward: There were three Bobcats in total in a field where we tried the various tasks. I think the whole thing was associated with Goodwill next door. During the week, they do job training with the equipment. If you are a veteran or former felon, the training is free. On the weekends, they open it up for people like me.
Were there other people there?
Ward: There was one other person, Colin. The experience was a birthday present for him, too. Colin and I competed in doing various things. He won one race, and I won another.
Would you recommend Heavy Metal Playground to others? Would you go back?
Ward: A resounding YES and YES! Take a friend.
Thanks, Ward, for sharing your experience with us. Maybe next time I'll go--at least to watch.
Most days, I get up and watch the news crawler on one of the national morning shows. Occasionally, Ward will join me, and we will discuss the world's happenings. Most of what is reported is difficult to process because either it is an unavoidable tragedy or because of the stupidity of one person or another. So, after getting a quick overview of the world, I turn to my antidote, a Leave It to Beaver rerun. The Beaver may get in a jam, but it gets solved in 30 minutes with kindness and wisdom. It's the "palate cleanser" I need to start the rest of my day.
If you haven't been reading here for a while, you may not know that the aliases I use on the blog are characters from Leave It to Beaver. I'm June, my husband is Ward, my older son is Wally, and my younger son is Theo, short for Theodore, Beaver's Real name. Others with reoccurring rules are Miss Landers, Beaver's teacher, Aunt Martha, Uncle Billy, and Mary Ellen, Wally's girlfriend.
Below is the original post on my blog where I explained the names. It goes into a little more detail and has a few facts about the TV show.
_____________________________________
Leave it to Beaver or the Family We're Based On
You may have noticed that my family has the names Ward, June, Wally, and Theodore. Some of you may have thought that those were our real names. However, some of you may have realized that those are our aliases based on names from the TV showLeave It to Beaver. Leave It to Beaver was a situation comedy that aired from 1957 to 1963 and is still in reruns today.
The show revolved around the Cleaver Family—Ward and June, the parents, and Wally and Theodore (also known as the Beaver), their sons. The premise was that Beaver and Wally got themselves into scrapes that frustrated their parents but from which, ultimately, everyone learned a lesson.
When I chose these aliases for my blog world, I didn't think much about the significance, except there were the correct number and gender in the Cleaver family, and they were from a show that made me smile when I thought about it.
In this post, I had planned to discuss the details of the Cleaver family and compare and contrast them with my family. However, that's too much work, so I'm just going to tell you a couple of things I found interesting about the making of the show that resonates with me.
--The makers of the show wanted to get gentle laughs. If anything got a really big laugh, they changed the script to make it more of a chuckle or smile. While I love a good belly laugh, the gentle laugh fits with my basic philosophy of life: Everything in moderation.
--June often wore pearls and heels when cooking and cleaning around the house. This is often made fun of because it was so unrealistic. However once I heard an interview with the actress that played June, and she explained why those wardrobe choices were made. Apparently the hollow at the bottom of her neck looked strange on film, so they had her wear pearls to fix the problem. Also, as the actors grew that played Wally and Beaver they wanted her to be taller than them to still look authoritative as a parent. Thus, they had her put on heels. While you'll never find me cooking and cleaning in either pearls or heels, this reminds me that snap judgments are often wrong. Many times, you just don't know all of the facts.
-Leave It to Beaver was the first TV show in which the kids were the main focus, not the parents. I don't have anything meaningful to say about this except that I find it interesting.
Another time, I may go into individual episodes, but for now, you know where our blog names came from.
But Wait, There's More:
If you read here very often and you've been paying attention, you may have noticed that several other major and minor Leave It to Beaver characters show up in my posts.
When Ward and I checked out at Lowes the other day, the cashier asked how long we'd been married. I'm not sure what prompted her question. We were on a mission buying fence boards, not really talking to her or each other. I was impressed when Ward immediately said, "43 years." (I've been married long enough that I've stopped keeping track, although I can figure it out if I think a bit.) She said we looked so peaceful and asked what our secret was. She said she had been married for 7 years, and her husband drove her crazy. I wasn't sure how to answer other than, yeah, that happens sometimes.
We're almost to the 10-year mark here.
Her question has had me pondering what our "secret" is or why anyone's marriage succeeds or fails. I think there are probably as many answers to that question as there are couples. Certainly, no simple saying or formula comes to mind for why Ward and I have been together for all these decades.
Ward and I met in grad school, started dating, and married about two years later when we finished school. Our marriage began with love and commitment but little real-life experience. In the early years, we were learning about real jobs, a new city, and each other. For example, it took the longest time to figure out our different discussion arguing styles.
Eventually, the kids came along with a whole new set of experiences. We delighted in Wally and Theo, but they were not the easiest children to raise. Many stressors came with these challenging boys, and their early years were not always easy for Ward and me.
We've also dealt with serious illnesses, career changes, moves, and aging parents. All of these things have changed who we are in some way. And I feel very fortunate that with each experience, we have grown closer instead of apart. I can understand how that might not always happen.
I guess that underneath it all, Ward and I have mutual respect and know we can always depend on each other. Throw in similar ideas about money, family, and leisure activities, and you've got a winning formula—at least, it seems to be working for us.
Actually, I think any relationship, whether it lasts a long time or a short time, is too complex to explain in a few paragraphs. So maybe I should just say I've been married for a while. I'm not sure why, but it seems to be working. I think I'm just going to enjoy it and not try to figure it out.
Note: I asked Ward how he would answer the cashier's question, and he said it was complicated, and he didn't want to talk about it. He was too busy figuring out counting to the quick step. That's a new dance we're trying to learn. I thought his time was better spent at that so we wouldn't look so confused at Monday's dance class, so I didn't question further. 😀
Back in June, when I did a post for West Virginia Day, Kris asked the following question in one of her comments: "I am curious as to how the boundaries were made--in looking at a map, the panhandles seem to be oddly placed and like they should be part of a different state." I gave a vague answer because I wasn't really sure how we ended up with two panhandles myself. I've done a little research, so now I'm going to try to answer her question. Better late than never, right?
First of all, it's complicated and confusing, but I'm going to try to simplify it so it makes sense.
As you all know, West Virginia was once part of Virginia. In the early times, Virginia had a far western boundary. After the Revolution, Congress encouraged the donation of land to the United States. So, Virginia gave up Kentucky and everything west of the Ohio River. However, they still wanted access to the Ohio River, so they kept the Tug Fork and Big Sandy Rivers since those rivers flow into the Ohio. That forms some of the western boundary—the non-panhandle part.
Meanwhile, Pennsylvania and Virginia had overlapping land claims and had a big dispute about the western border between them. The border ended up just west of Pittsburg, leaving the little silver of land in the north - The Northern Panhandle. BTW, Pittsburg is where the Allegheny and Monongahela Rivers come together to form the Ohio River. If you haven't figured it out by now, the Ohio River was very important in the country's westward expansion. It was a navigable river that flowed into the Mississippi River.
The eastern part of Virginia, the Tidewater and Piedmont regions, had rich farmland and plantations run on slave labor, which we have all heard about. The western, mountainous part of Virginia had subsistence farming and few, if any, slaves. There was no need. However, representation in the legislature was based on population, which included the slaves in the count, even though they had no rights and were considered property. So, using these numbers, the western part of the state had little say about what went on. Western Virginia tried to secede a couple of times to no avail.
Then the Civil War happened. Virginia was a Confederate State, but the western part had mixed loyalties. In 1861, Union troops crossed the Ohio into Virginia, attacked the Confederate forces in the mountains, and eventually occupied the area. Western Virginia saw this as an opportunity and seceded from Virginia to the Union. The extent of the Union occupation at that time determined the state's eastern border.
That is, except for the end of the eastern panhandle, which was still loyal to the Confederacy and did not vote to secede. Congress recognized the new state of West Virginia and voted to give it three additional western Virginia counties: Morgan, Berkley, and Jefferson. These counties had rich farmland and the B & O Railroad, which Congress thought the new state needed to support itself. Of course, Virginia was not happy about that and protested, but lost when the Supreme Court ruled against them in 1871.
There. Does that make sense to anyone but me? My apologies to the historians out there who are cringing at my simplified version of the state's history.
Until next time...
Notes:
Most of this was summarized from Wikipedia and Mark Stein's book How the States Got Their Shapes.
