Monday, August 23, 2021

Tuesday 4, Weddings

I'm almost a week late, but here are this/last week's Tuesday 4 prompts about weddings. Join me if you'd like. 

 1. If you are married would you share how your husband proposed to you? How long were you engaged before you got married? If you aren't married, what would be ideal for you?

There was no formal proposal. We talked about getting married several times and after a while decided to make it formal with an engagement. We were/are very practical people and the whole idea of a surprise proposal seemed strange. Wouldn't it be something you'd need to discuss? At length. However, I know that it is much more of a romantic gesture than anything else. And decades ago, it wasn't such a big thing when there wasn't social media to document everything. I'm don't remember exactly how long we were engaged before we got married--maybe 6 months. I was finishing up my thesis, then spent a couple of month's at my parents house planning the wedding.

2. Did you receive an engagement ring? Would you show us or describe it for us? Yes, I did receive an engagement ring. It is a simple brilliant cut diamond. The stone came from my husband's grandmother with the instructions that if we ever broke up, it had to come back to her. Fortunately, we've never had to make good on that promise. However, I did lose the ring once and was panicked about telling her. However, after several months I found it. If you want to read more about that and a ring Ward lost, you can read it here.

3. What kind of wedding did you have? Was it big or small, formal, informal, religious or justice of the peace. Inquiring minds want to know! Our wedding was in my small, home town church. It was a simple affair with only two attendants - one of my sisters and Ward's best friend. There were maybe 50-75 people there and the reception was in the basement of the new library with church friends making all of the food. It all went just as planned. However, I can't say that it was a comfortable day. I wasn't used to being the center of attention for such a long period of time and I found it tiring. 

4.Was there a honeymoon? Where did you go, how long did you stay? There really wasn't a honeymoon, so to speak. Ward was just a few months into a new job and didn't have any vacation time built up. His company gave him one personal day for the wedding. Time constraints was one of the reasons we got married the Friday after Thanksgiving instead of a more traditional Saturday. I also was starting a new job the next week, so the "honeymoon" was a long drive back to New Orleans from WV. We only drove a few hours the first night to a scenic spot, so I guess that was our honeymoon. But we've had plenty of time to travel since then.

When I reread this, by what you see these days, this was a very plain and simple affair, both the engagement and the wedding. But the wedding was, hands down, just right. Because we got married and eons later, we're still happily married. 


10 comments:

  1. I love your story! My nosy self wants to know how you met. ��

    We've been married for 20 years and definitely had a simpler engagement and wedding than what was popular at the time. We knew that we were getting close to making a commitment. My husband asked me to marry him after we had a meal of spaghetti at his apartment. Not a very romantic story, I guess.

    We shopped together for a wedding ring. I wanted a say in something that I would be wearing for the rest of my life! Mine is a marquis cut diamond. I still love it.

    We also had a simple wedding at our church and held a brunch reception in the fellowship hall. We had many guests from out of town and we wanted to make the day as simple as possible for anyone who had to travel. Neither of us wanted a big party with drinking and dancing. We were more interested in spending our money on our honeymoon to Bermuda. I'm very happy we made the choices that we did. Marriage is still sweet for us ��.

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    1. While our wedding was simpler than many, it was not unusual for my small town at the time. My parents had helped put me through undergraduate school and I didn't want to ask them to pay for anything else. Thus, Ward and I paid for it all. I had a little money saved and Ward had had a "real" salary for a few months.

      Ward and I met in graduate school. I was working late one night and Ward came by and asked who I was. He was sold into the relationship faster than I was, but I came round. And here we are decades later. :)

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  2. I think weddings have gotten so overblown now that it becomes bigger than the marriage. I am glad I lived in a simpler time when things did not have to be perfect.

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    1. It seems crazy to me the amount of money that is spent on many weddings these days. I think social media accounts for part of that and I also think the people are getting married later and have more income and expectations to go with that.

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    2. Too true, Anne! It seems to be a trend with many things, not just weddings. It was a relief to have some limits imposed on us by our venue for my son's graduation party, which ended up being a very simple affair. I think many people feel pressured into spending more money than is comfortable for them to spend.

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    3. Another silver lining to the very dark COVID cloud.

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  3. I've enjoyed reading about your wedding. :) The most important part is you are still together; it takes a lot of work to make a marriage work, doesn't it?

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    1. While we have been happily married for years, that is not to say that we haven't had conflicts and have had to learn to compromise.

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  4. That was a practical wedding you and Ward had. Some of the weddings today, costing thousands upon thousands, seem like huge extravagant affairs that will put someone in debt a long time.

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    1. I can't see going into huge debt for a wedding. I can see spending more than you would on many things because it is a big event, but not if you can't afford it. But I guess if no one is asking me for money to pay for their wedding, I really don't have a say in things.

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What do you think?