Thankful Sunday--January 3, 2016

This is mid-view of the yard as the sun is starting to set. I particularly enjoy the silhouettes of the trees in the winter.

I am thankful for the view 

out of my kitchen window.

If you've looked around at all on this blog you have seen many views out my kitchen window. Through my window I watch the birds, squirrels, and deer on a daily basis. I see if the cows are in the back field and watch the trees change shape and color throughout the year. I watch the flowers bloom and fade. 

In other words, through my kitchen window, I see nature putting on a constant show and for that I am thankful.

Christmas--Part Three

Today was a great day as I continued with another of the many parts of my Christmas season this year. It was a low-key day as Ward, Wally, Theo, and I opened presents together in the morning. Then off for a hike before Wally and Theo went to Wally's apartment to do some things, and Ward and I went to spend the afternoon with some of his family. This was especially nice for me because I didn't get to see them Christmas day as I usually do.

Good conversation, good food, and a good hike made the day quite enjoyable.  And then some quiet puzzle working this evening was the perfect way to end the day. A great way to start the new year. :)

The cats had a great time while we were opening presents. They played with
paper, hid in bags, and jumped in every box before taking a bath
under the tree. Leo was trying to shred this paper.

We were lucky to have this boardwalk through much of woods where we walked. I'm not sure how we all ended up with muddy shoes.

Christmas Visit--Part Two

Connections

Have you played the game of  Six Degrees of Separation where everyone can be related to someone else by six or fewer connections? Well, this past week while visiting my mother in her new extended care facility, it took many fewer than six tries to get a connection.  Being in a small town, you would expect some familiarity, but I didn't expect to see so many people that remembered me since I hadn't lived there for over 30 years. Here are some examples of the connections.

--The head nurse was someone I was in band with in high school. Hadn't seen her since then, but hugs were still given all around.

--Two other nurses and the ward clerk worked with my mother when she worked there 20 years ago.

--Next door to my mother was the mother of a friend from high school.

--Every time we were in the dining room, there was another connection from high school. Sometimes it was with me and sometimes with one of my sisters.

--My mother's roommate is the aunt of one of my good friends from high school. Unfortunately, we couldn't coordinate our visits to see each other. However, we had an interesting visit with her sister one day.

A couple tentatively came into the room and said, "You aren't Martha are you." I said no, that was my sister. She said she was Alice and was in school with Martha. We exchanged a couple more pleasantries and then she went on to visit her aunt.

After a few minutes, her husband came up and said that he was Frank, Alice's husband and gave us a big hug and wished us Merry Christmas. Then he said that he wasn't from around there and he was from another town. Well, one thing led to another and that was the town where my parents were born. Turns out that he grew up on a farm near my grandparents, worked 30 years with my uncle, and used to go rabbit hunting with my father. He also knew my mother when she was younger. That whole exchange was very interesting. The connection was supposed to be through his wife, but it turned out that we had more connections to him than anyone around. It was somehow comforting to find someone who knew my father as well as my mother from long ago.

--Another day while talking to another resident, Thelma, we found out that her uncle used to own the house we lived in and she told us a few stories about it. When I got home (my mother's house) later that day, I just happened to come across two utility bills for her uncle from 1946 when he owned the house. I don't ever remember seeing them and no one is quite sure where they came from. The theory is they must have surfaced when some remodeling was done a few years ago. However, it was pretty strange that I should find them in the back of a cabinet just a couple of hours after hearing Thelma's story. We took them to Thelma and she was happy to see this surprise connection to her past.

--Also, a couple of other hospital workers come to see my mother every day on their break. They were present day connections but they had their own set of connections to others just like we did.

While it was very interesting and fun to see all of these people, as an introvert, I found all of this very tiring. But it felt good knowing that there are many eyes keeping watch over my mother.

Unfortunately, out of respect for other's privacy, I can't share any of the pictures I took during my visit.

A Christmas Visit--Part One

Before Christmas my emotions were running deep as I was trying to come terms with the fact that it was time for my mother to move into an extended care facility. I knew that it was the best thing for her, but also grieved as I thought about her leaving the home she had been in for many decades and the one I grew up in.

And then suddenly, a few days before Christmas, there was an opening. That turned up the emotions another notch as I thought about my mother spending Christmas away from home. But you gotta do, what you gotta do. As a result of this, my sister and I spent almost a week with her around Christmas helping her get settled in.

We spent long days in the new place trying to find the right balance between helping my mother and letting her adapt on her own to her new surroundings. During this time, we made friends with the staff. They were a friendly, professional, hard working, and funny group. We were happy that they were caring for our mother. (Interestingly enough, my mother was a nurse who worked on this unit many years ago and some of the current staff actually worked with her then.)

However, we had the best time meeting some of the other residents. I have been in several nursing homes before, but always with short visits to a particular person. Never long enough to get to know others like I did this time. There were a variety of people there, but most of them were in there 80's and 90's. A few of them had lost there ability to communicate in the traditional ways, but always responded well to eye contact and a smile. With others, it took a little time to figure out where their mind was taking them at that time, and yet others were always with you in the here and now. The biggest hindrance in the initial meetings was the hearing loss most of them suffered. However after the first meeting, we usually figured out how to communicate without much difficulty.

Some of them had lots of visitors and some had none, but they all were eager to tell their story--where they grew up, what their jobs had been, and who their family was. After a day or two, the conversations grew more intimate. Thelma told me about how it frustrates her that people think residents in places like this aren't smart. She said that most were quite smart. Bertha told me that she didn't like the holidays and couldn't wait for them to be over. They always made her sad.  Emmogene told me how she was praying for my mother to get better.

The best day was Christmas Eve when Santa came to visit and brought multiple presents to each resident. He also had his picture taken with each person including my sister and me. Everyone was eager to see what was in their packages and we were as eager as they were. Even Bertha, who was sad at Christmas, was having a good time. So like Bertha, the Christmas I was dreading was actually turning out to be okay.

I'm home now and while I'm still trying to grasp this new phase of my mother's life, I feel much better. She seems to be adjusting and I know that she is surrounded by good people. I'm looking forward to the next visit to see my mother and all of the new friends I made.

Unfortunately, out of respect for others, I can't show any of the pictures from my visit.

Holiday update

The cats like the box they got for Christmas. They are taking turns with it.
This was Annie's turn.

It's time for a brief stop in during this holiday season. The days have been going by fast and furious with stories to tell. Even though on the surface, this seems like one of the most difficult Christmases I've had, it also has been one of the most meaningful and fun. More to come on that.

I spent Christmas day and a few others visiting my mother. Ward and the Boys stayed back and spent Christmas with Ward's family. New Year's Day, Ward, Wally, Theo and I will have a Christmas celebration in our immediate family. In between, it looks like an explosion went off in our house trying to keep up with all of the moving parts and not quite succeeding. However, slow and steady wins the race or perseverance pays off or something like that. I know things will eventually settle down.

In the meantime, I hope that all of you have had a calm and meaningful Christmas. And if not, pat yourself on the back for surviving it.

Back soon with more details. For right now, I'm still trying to clean off the couch so we have a place to sit.