Thankful Sunday--October 18, 2015

I am thankful for a hug.

When we first moved here, there was a shy, little boy, Manny, living next door. Gradually, he and Theo became best friends. Manny was here all of the time playing with the boys, spending the night, and going to soccer practice and Boy Scout meetings with us. We helped him with his homework and gave him friendly advice. I think he liked it over here because it was more stable than what was going on at his house.

Theo and Manny in their younger days
 playing with balloons.

However, long about the beginning of his teen years, he expanded his horizons and started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Skipping school, petty theft, and pot started to be part of his every day life. After one particular event, I told him he was not allowed in our house any more until he showed signs that he was trying to do better. My only requirement was that he cut back on the number of tardies and absences from school. In the meantime, I talked to his family about all kinds of services that could help him, books to read, and people to talk to. However, in their own way, they did what they thought was best and did nothing.

Manny never did make it back into our house. I talked to him several times, but thought it was important to remain firm both for safety reasons and for him to have some consistency in expectations--something that had been mostly lacking from his family. His behavior escalated to major thefts, jail time, drug dealing, and heroin addiction. A very sad thing for everyone--especially Theo.

Throughout the next ten years, he was in and out next door and I never had more than a wave to him. However, the other day he was sitting in his backyard with a friend and I went over and introduced myself to his friend and said hi to Manny. Manny said that it had been a long time and there was an awkward silence. And then he got up and gave me a big hug.

And from that big hug, I felt like the Manny, from years ago, was still in there somewhere and maybe he can find his way again. And for that I am thankful.

Buying for Boys and Girls

A couple of months ago, I listened to an interesting discussion on the Kojo Nnamdi radio show about gender marketing for kids. The show followed Target's announcement that they were going to take down signage for their toys and bedding with the words "Boy" or "Girl" in them so they would be more gender neutral. They were also going to remove the pink backgrounds from some areas. I found the discussion about how these conventions developed very interesting.

Pink for girls and blue for boys has not always been the norm. It first was suggested in the late 1800's but didn't become common until the late 1950's. A study in the 1920's in department stores showed that gifts for baby girls and baby boys were about 50/50 pink and blue for each one. Meaning, baby boys and girls were getting equal amounts of pink and blue gifts. And later when there was more differentiation, it was very culturally dependent. Blue is the color associated with the Virgin Mary, so in countries with a large Catholic population, blue was for girls. And red was associated with stronger things like blood, and since pink was a variation of that, it was associated with boys.

Also, there was more neutrality in clothing than today. In the 1950's and 1960's, girls had to wear dresses to school and boys wore nicer clothes also. Then they came home and put on play clothes. A look at catalogs back then showed a small section of dresses for girls, a small section of nicer clothes for boys and a large section of play clothes that were for both girls and boys--no differentiation. These went through size 10-12. Today almost all clothing is geared toward either a boy or a girl.

A look at the way toys were marketed also showed some interesting trends. When ads were studied from the 1920's through the 1960's, it was found that the toys that were marketed to girls had to do with household duties and boy's toys were geared more to building sets and cars. However, only about 50% of the toys had any kind of gender identification. Fast forward to today and a look at a Disney Store's website shows 100% of the toys are targeted to either a girl or a boy. But today instead of trying to sell girls little brooms or irons, they are selling princesses.

In between these times at the height of feminism in the 1970's, only 2% of the toys were marketed for specifically girls or boys. This neutrality declined until the mid 1990's when about half of the toys were now gender specific--just like it was in the 1950's. One other thing mentioned was that however toys were marketed when someone was growing up is what they think is the norm. Everything is compared to that.

So what does this all mean? I"m not sure but I do find it interesting that in the 1950's when there weren't as many opportunities for women, half of the toys were still gender neutral. And now in 2015, when there are many more opportunities for women, almost all of the toys are marketed specifically to either a boy or a girl.

This is a very complex subject with many layers--too many to explore in this one blog post. So I'll leave you now to ponder marketing of kids products over the years. What were things like when you were growing up and did you change how you bought things for your kids or grandkids?

A Second Look--October 13, 2015

Here are some things I saw this week 

during a Second Look.

One of the pansies that Kimmy and I planted over the weekend.

The first chrysanthemum bloom of the season. 

These mushrooms just sprung up in the last couple of days and covered quite a wide area--maybe 4'x3'. (I'm not sure that makes sense. Actually, not just these mushrooms covered that big of an area. These and others covered a wide area. Those would have been some big mushrooms!)

For years I have tried to get a picture of these delicate white flowers (can't remember thei name) and have finally done it. The problem has been that they grow on a mass of thin, delicate stems and leaves and the camera never knows where to focus. 

Wild cherries. These are an example of the many berries birds have to eat this time of year.

Tulip Poplar. The leaves are changing on this tree but not on some others.

Cows in the field behind us. This is an example of what the trees look like at this point in time. Change is happening but green is still the predominant color.

This is a funnel spider we found in our bird feeder. I hope to have more information about it soon. I've submitted an identification request to All About Bugs.  It's pretty curious looking, if you ask me.

Planting flowers

Kimmy examining some of the dug up worms.

Living next door to me is a special needs girl, Kimmy*. The situation she lives in is very complicated and not a very good one from my perspective. However, in their own way, her family does what they think is best for her. This means they withdrew her from school and let her spend her days playing video games. However, Kimmy also visits me almost every day and during her visits, we chat a bit and read a book or two together. Sometimes we play hide and seek.

I have been yearning to do many more hands-on activities with her, but for reasons too complicated to explain here, I can't. However, I did get a chance today when we planted flowers together. Kimmy came over just as I was getting ready to plant some pansies and I asked her if she wanted to help me plant or to read. She chose planting and I was surprised because of all of the things she tells me that she doesn't like to do.  But she was a willing helper. I didn't realize that planting a flower was such a complicated process until I started to teach Kimmy.

This is what we did.
1. Place the plant where we wanted it to go.
2. Clear away the mulch
3. Dig a hole for the plant without mixing the dirt with the mulch.
4. Measure the hole to see if it is the right size
5. Take the plant out of the pot without damaging it. (Squeeze the sides and push the bottom.)
6. Separate any roots that are starting to get root bound.
7. Place plant in hole and fill dirt around making sure there are no pockets of air.
8. Replace mulch or protect plant as we called it.
9. Water around the plant and not on top of it. (The ground was wet, so we didn't water the hole.)

Kimmy was a quick study and corrected me on any steps I forgot--like the time I was talking about what was on the pizza I had for breakfast and forgot step 8.

But the most fun Kimmy had was with the earthworms. I explained about how they were good for the soil (a new word for her) and we examined them. From then on, she was very excited every time she found one. She said that she couldn't wait to tell her family that she found three worms and she wasn't afraid of them. We also collected acorns and pebbles we dug up that she took home with her.

We both had a great time digging in the dirt and it was a wonderful way to spend a lovely fall afternoon.

*Kimmy is 16 and reads on a first grade level. However, she has many other special skills.

Thankful Sunday--October 11, 2015

I am thankful for the entertainment that animals provide both inside and outside our house.