The News and me

I have a routine. Every morning, I have breakfast while I watch one of the morning news shows. Usually, I have the sound off and just read the crawlers to get an overview of what's happening in the world. Occasionally, I listen to a whole story or go online to find out more details. But mostly, the headlines are all that I can handle. It's hard to process all the reported tragedies in the world, whether they are caused by man or nature.

I read once that it is normal to be overwhelmed with the amount of bad news we are exposed to these days. At one point, news traveled by messenger on foot from village to village, and it would sometimes take days to arrive. Biologically, our brains have not evolved much past that stage. So, of course, it's easy to be overwhelmed by the constant barrage of news available today. (And I won't even talk about the misinformation and bias that we have to sort through.)

I can occasionally do something to help in a bad situation that I see on the news, such as donating to an organization with feet on the ground, but mostly, the best I can do is fret. So how do I handle this situation? I must admit that my first coping mechanism is to bury my head in the sand and not focus on the world's problems. I am a fairly empathetic person, so this is easier said than done. 

But mostly, I think about what I can do to make the day better for those around me, hoping for a ripple effect. Maybe one of those ripples will reach someone I don't know. I start with little things. I try to make eye contact, smile, and say hi to the people I meet.*  Included with is idea is to be polite and respectful to any service people who help me. I also offer to reach things (my long arms come in handy sometimes) or carry items for people. Simple things that most of us do but are usually appreciated. I know I appreciate these gestures. 

This all comes down to kindness which happens to be the focus this summer at work. Next time, I'll tell you a bit about that. And speaking of work, I better stop now so I won't be late.

Until next time...

*Disclaimer here. I know eye contact is not the respectful thing to do in some cultures, and if you're from a big city, you might find it odd if a stranger said hi to you. I had a friend who came to this country for college and was very confused about why people said hi to her when they didn't know her. Anyway, I try to read the situation as best I can and act accordingly.

K is for Kindness

Our neighbor is helping Ward install a new mailbox post. An act of kindness.

I think people are inherently kind. It's in our DNA because it helped our chances of survival at one point in time. If we were kind, we would be more likely to be included as part of the group that provided food, shelter, and protection.

Oh, there are times when someone is having a bad day when they aren't showing their kinder side, but I think that is more the exception than the rule. To prove this point, I asked a few people for examples of little acts of kindness that they had done or had had done for them recently. At first some weren't sure they had anything to say, but with more thought, they had a lot to say. I think this means that kind acts are so much a part of our everyday life that it takes a minute for us to remember them. Here are a few of the examples I got. (For consistency, I am writing all of these as if the person were the recipient of the kindness.)

--I was getting ready for my first high school dance and was having a problem tying my tie. My neighbor helped me tie it.

--I had been having some difficult days at work and one of my coworkers showed up with balloons to brighten my mood.

--I was stretching to reach something off the top shelf at the grocery store and a stranger helped me reach it.

--I had been to an auction and a stranger helped me carry my purchases to my car.

--I had my baby in a backpack and his shoes fell off. A stranger jumped in and helped me pick them up and then volunteered to carry some of my other things.

--I was having problems with my homework and my neighbor sat down with me and figured out the whole lesson.

--I hadn't been feeling well for a while and a friend brought a meal to me and did the errands I needed done.

--I had been feeling really down since my husband died, and a friend called.We had a long talk and I felt much better when we were done.

--I couldn't find a quarter to get a shopping cart at Aldi's one day and a stranger gave me one.

--I asked the neighbor to borrow a tool for some plumbing I was doing and he not only lent me the tool, he helped me with the whole job of installing the hot water heater.

--I got a book that I had mentioned once that I would like to have from a friend completely as a surprise.

--"I had been staying with friends for a couple of months while I was recovering from a knee operation. Yesterday I packed up all my stuff drove back to my house. One of the friends with whom I was staying, packed some cookies and raspberries in a container and hid it in my car. This morning when I was thinking, "Woe is me, I have no food in my house! What shall I eat for breakfast?" I discovered the wonderful gift. There has rarely been a finer breakfast than chocolate chip cookies with raspberries."

--There is a remarkable woman and her family who live on my street. The woman is battling an aggressive form of cancer. As a thank you to the neighbors for all of our support, they threw a block party. The party was an example of great cooperation and kindness for all involved.

--I was at a market with my mom and I was really bored. A big guy (teenager) organized a game of tag for us. It was a lot of fun.

Yellowstone National Park

And now an example of my own. A couple of years ago, Ward and I were vacationing in Yellowstone National Park. Besides enjoying the breathtaking scenery, we noted what a good mood everyone was in. Even in the crowded areas, there was no jostling for the best vantage point or annoyance with the line for the bathroom. This good mood extended to helping each other when people were trying to get a picture of their family or themselves with beautiful scenery behind them. In one of these spots, I was trying to get a picture of Ward with a waterfall behind him when a young man offered to take our picture together. We gladly agreed. After he had gotten a couple of pictures, a woman offered to take a picture of our whole family and insisted that the young man join us in the picture. At that point, it was just easier for him to join us than try to explain what was really going on. So we got a nice picture of ourselves with a kind young man who was our "son" for that time. We all smiled as one kind act led to another--with a twist.

Have you done any random acts of kindness recently or had any done for you?

This is an updated version of a post I did several years ago. Kindness seemed like a good topic to visit again.

Simple Kindness

You hear it all the time. Be kind to others. You never know the impact you might have. You might make the day of someone who is having a hard time. I think most of us do try to be kind with a thank you here and smile there. Recently, I've gotten feedback to know that some very simple gestures really did make a difference.

The first was when Ward was in the hospital and I was walking around outside. A crossing guard stopped the traffic and to let me cross a street. I smiled and said thank you as I crossed, and he replied, "Thank you for that and your smile. You have just made my day." I don't know if he usually doesn't get any response or he was having a bad day, but he was genuinely appreciative of that very simple gesture. (BTW, Ward's doing great. He's recovering well.)

Aldi's carts waiting for their quarter.

Next was when I was loading my car after a shopping trip in Aldi. A woman carrying a squirming toddler came up and asked if I had a quarter. (You have to "rent" the carts for a quarter.) I told her that she could have my cart after I emptied it. And then I asked her if she needed some bags. (No bagging in Aldi.) And she said yes. I gave her a couple of bags from my car. She was extremely appreciative and so was the toddler because he now got to ride in a cart. People share their carts at Aldi all the time, but today it especially made this mother's day.

The next example was when I last visited my mother. We were in the dining room waiting for lunch. My sister and I were taking a couple of pictures of my mother when we noticed another resident watching us intently. We asked her and her son, who was with her, if they would like their picture taken. He said it was alright. His mother, who was pretty much nonverbal, just smiled. So we took a few pictures of them because she seemed to be enjoying it. When I got the pictures developed, I mailed them to my mother and included one of the mother and son to be passed on. When the son got the picture, he immediately took it to his truck so he wouldn't lose it. It turns out that it was the only picture he had ever had with him and his mother. He was very touched. You see, this son is there every day to feed his mother all of her meals. He shows such dedication and he's never had a picture with her. He was truly appreciative.

These are all examples of such simple things. I didn't go out of my way to do anything special, just normal things that all of us would do. But being kind really made a difference. So I'm gonna try to be kind all of the time even when I'm in a bad mood. All I have to do is remember the look on the mother and son's face and I think I will have motivation enough.

(Wish I could show you pictures of the other people, but I have to respect their privacy.)

K is for Kindness

Yellowstone National Park

I think people are inherently kind. It's in our DNA because it helped our chances of survival at one point in time. If we were kind, we would be more likely to be included as part of the group that provided food, shelter, and protection. Or some such thing like that. Playing armchair anthropologist is fun.

But I really do believe that most people are kind. Oh, there are times when someone is having a bad day when they aren't showing their kinder side, but I think that is more the exception than the rule. To prove this point, I asked a few people for examples of little acts of kindness that they had done or had had done for them recently. At first some weren't sure they had anything to say, but with more thought, they had a lot to say. I think this means that kind acts are so much a part of our everyday life that it takes a minute for us to remember them. Here are a few of the examples I got. (For consistency, I am writing all of these as if the person were the recipient of the kindness.)

--I was getting ready for my first high school dance and was having a problem tying my tie. My neighbor helped me tie it.

--I had been having some difficult days at work and one of my coworkers showed up with balloons to brighten my mood.

--I was stretching to reach something off the top shelf at the grocery store and a stranger helped me reach it.

--I had been to an auction and a stranger helped me carry my purchases to my car.

--I had my baby in a backpack and his shoes fell off. A stranger jumped in and helped me pick them up and then volunteered to carry some of my other things.

--I was having problems with my homework and my neighbor sat down with me and figured out the whole lesson.

--I hadn't been feeling well for a while and a friend brought a meal to me and did the errands I needed done.

--I had been feeling really down since my husband died, and a friend called.We had a long talk and I felt much better when we were done.

--I couldn't find a quarter to get a shopping cart at Aldi's one day and a stranger gave me one.

--I asked the neighbor to borrow a tool for some plumbing I was doing and he not only lent me the tool, he helped me with the whole job of installing the hot water heater.

--I got a book that I had mentioned once that I would like to have from a friend completely as a surprise.

--"I had been staying with friends for a couple of months while I was recovering from a knee operation. Yesterday I packed up all my stuff drove back to my house. One of the friends with whom I was staying, packed some cookies and raspberries in a container and hid it in my car. This morning when I was thinking, "Woe is me, I have no food in my house! What shall I eat for breakfast?" I discovered the wonderful gift. There has rarely been a finer breakfast than chocolate chip cookies with raspberries."

--There is a remarkable woman and her family who live on my street. The woman is battling an aggressive form of cancer. As a thank you to the neighbors for all of our support, they threw a block party. The party was an example of great cooperation and kindness for all involved.

--I was at a market with my mom and I was really bored. A big guy (teenager) organized a game of tag for us. It was a lot of fun.

Yellowstone National Park

And now an example of my own. A couple of years ago, Ward and I were vacationing in Yellowstone National Park. Besides enjoying the breathtaking scenery, we noted what a good mood everyone was in. Even in the crowded areas, there was no jostling for the best vantage point or annoyance with the line for the bathroom. This good mood extended to helping each other when people were trying to get a picture of their family or themselves with beautiful scenery behind them. In one of these spots, I was trying to get a picture of Ward with a waterfall behind him when a young man offered to take our picture together. We gladly agreed. After he had gotten a couple of pictures, a woman offered to take a picture of our whole family and insisted that the young man join us in the picture. At that point, it was just easier for him to join us than try to explain what was really going on. So we got a nice picture of ourselves with a kind young man who was our "son" for that time. We all smiled as one kind act led to another--with a twist.

Have you done any random acts of kindness recently or had any done for you?