When I post, I like to have a point that I want to make, explore something I learned from an experience, or muse about an observation. And over the years, I've been able to do that - sometimes. But the reality is that kind of post takes more effort and time than I often have or want to do. So then I think about doing a post with just an update on what I've been up to. While that kind of post is much easier to write, I wonder how much I want to reveal about my life or those around me - even if I am using pseudonyms. Or if anyone even cares what I did last weekend. That leaves me indecisive, and I then end up not posting anything. Have you caught on yet that I often overthink things? Or another way to say it is I am a perfectionist.
I was surprised when I figured out that I have perfectionist tendencies. I certainly didn't do everything perfectly, and many areas of my life were not perfect. However, the ah-ha moment for me was learning that perfectionism often results in an all-or-nothing scenario, and often, it's nothing. I pondered most decisions for a long time, not wanting to make the wrong one. I remember when I was a young professional and read an interview with the president of the company I was working for where he said making a decision, even if it is wrong, is better than no decision. If it's a wrong decision, you learn from it and move on. I was incensed when I first read that. What do you mean that a wrong decision is okay? After thinking about it for a while, I guess I saw his point, even if it didn't seem right. Since then, I've slowly learned to accept that fact and try to practice it.
The Frugal Girl said something the other day that I also had to learn. "Done is better than perfect." This blog, in particular, has helped me with that idea. I have had to accept that posting with typos was okay. Of course, I try to proofread, but I often miss things. I was really worried about that in the beginning, but I'm okay with mistakes here now (well, mostly).
Over many years, although I've been working on letting go of my perfectionism, it still doesn't come naturally. I have to make a conscious decision to change how I think if perfectionism or indecision is getting in the way of moving forward. I have had to learn to trust myself enough to know if I make a wrong decision; I am strong enough and smart enough to handle it.
But letting go of perfectionism doesn't mean I don't strive to do things well and make good decisions. It just means that I get to the action sooner. But with all things, including this one, I'm still a work in progress.
So what does all of this mean? I don't know. I sat down to write a post about how the baby shower went last week and ended up with musings on perfectionism. If I don't think about it too much, I'll tell you about the shower next time. :)
Until then…
I like it when you post your musings! I, too, have struggled with perfectionist tendencies. "A job worth doing is worth doing well" and all that! I've been known to put off doing stuff until I had time to do it perfectly and, as a result, somethings just didn't get done! I took a workshop about writing reports where the instructor said that most managers prefer to have a working draft that is 80% perfect and a statement that it needs a little more editing than not have anything until it is 100% perfect. It gives them something concrete that shows them that work is being done. I've since learned that yes, while I like to have all my bill statements filed in chronological order with the most current on top and attached with one of those metal file clasps (remember those?), it is OK, if I just drop the statements in the file folder and reduce the "to be filed" pile. Besides, I read in a quilting book that some quilters always made a mistake, purposefully, when making their quilts because only God was perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteHello, from one perfectionist to another. I have a less than perfect filing system, too. While not ideal, it keeps the papers from getting out of control. I think many cultures have the "include a flaw" idea with various stories to go with it, but all of them in the end are embracing imperfections. I will have to remember this when I find my perfectionism rearing its ugly head.
DeleteI enjoyed this musings post. I tend to do the same thing when it comes to blogging and life in general. I have to constantly work to fight the all or nothing mentality.
ReplyDeleteI think it's evident from the irregularity of my posting that I am thinking too much about it most of the time. I very glad that I do not need revenue from this blog to live on. I'd be in deep trouble if I did.
DeleteWe all have so many faults. There's nobody perfect in this world and no saints either. I am OCD about so many things, particularly hoarding. I can't walk into someone's house that is jammed with stuff without wanting, having this insanely deep urge, to tidy up, organize, get rid of what the person isn't using.
ReplyDeleteI have the same urge to straighten someone's messy house, and I always think that it would be easier to keep clean if they didn't have so much stuff. With that being said, there are several areas here that need a good clean out and some messy ones that need straightened. :)
DeleteI enjoy your meandering thoughts. They feel conversational, and I enjoy a good conversation. As for perfectionism, I have some areas where I prefer a "good enough" mentality and others where I am harder on myself. Sounds like I'm not alone in that. :)
ReplyDeleteI will try to meander more. That's a good point that's its more conversational. And "Good enough is good enough," does apply in a lot of situations.
Delete