Monday, March 10, 2014

The Empty Nest

As I have mentioned before, the nest is empty here. Wally and Theodore are now living on their own.

Wally and Theo long before they left the nest.
This is not the first time that Wally and Theo have been gone. At various times they have both been away at college at the same time. But this time is different. This time I think it's going to take. Wally has a job good enough to support himself and Theo is making plans for when he finishes school that don't involve coming back home.

And what do Ward and I think about this? We're glad because it looks like we've succeeded in raising independent, responsible, contributing members of society. Sometimes we weren't so sure this would happen. Like the time Theo refused to go to school because he thought he already knew it all. Or the time Wally flooded the house with the garden hose. Or the time when Theo started a fire at school during the electricity unit. Or the time Wally wouldn't do his homework because he thought it was too boring. Or the time the teacher called. Or the time the other teacher called. Or the next time another teacher called... But you know what? Just like all of the older and wiser people told us, it will work out. And it did. Thank goodness.

After a few tears on my part, we are adjusting to a quieter house. We're enjoying not having to figure out a schedule with the cars. We like it that now we can keep food in the house. (In case you haven't heard, young males eat a LOT.) We are also trying to keep quiet as Wally and Theo are figuring out things in the big world by themselves. I'm having a hard time with not offering too many opinions (some would call it nagging, I call it being a mother), but I'm working on it.

We know that there are ups and downs to everyone's life and Wally or Theodore may boomerang right back here. But for now both parents and children are enjoying the right of passage that is the empty nest.

In the essence of Full Disclosure, the nest is not really empty if you count our four needy (kneady - get it?) cats. :)


12 comments:

  1. There are those moments when it seems as if our kids will never make it to responsible adulthood. They do, amazingly! Do you feel like you have more free time now? I imagine there's a whole lot less cleaning/tidying once the kids are gone, as well as cooking.

    You thought maybe I'd cook more gourmet, once my kids have left. There's a part of me that thinks we may just have pie for dinner more often, and skip the full and balanced meals!

    Best wishes to your sons in this new phase of their lives!

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    1. I'm not sure that I have more free time now, but things are simpler because there are not as many moving parts to coordinate. Also, pie for dinner! A good idea if I ever heard one.

      Thanks for you best wishes, Lili. I will pass them on.

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  2. Aww! Look at those darling little faces! I was laughing, reading your story ... my son has a fascination with water and I walked outside one hot summer day to discover that my children (led by Andrew) had flooded the back patio because they had built a beaver dam on the patio and of course, beaver dams are on a river ... another time, after a camping trip in which we went to Tahquamenon Falls (in Michigan's upper peninsula--the second biggest waterfall east of the Mississippi, with Niagara the obvious biggest falls), he decided that our back steps would make a great place for a waterfall. They really did, with the hose at the top of the steps! Of course I had to redirect both activities but it WAS funny and I had to admire their creativity. Sometimes stubbornness sets in, especially with my daughter, and I wonder if I will be able to parent wisely when I feel frustrated and lost. It's good for me to read comments like yours so I can try to see the big picture better. Thank you!

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    1. I love hearing your water stories. You son is indeed very creative. I have lots more stories to tell, as I'm sure you do. Someday, it would be fun to exchange them.

      I think we all parent the best we know how. And I think, while none of us are perfect, most of us do a pretty good job. I know there are things I've done that will affect my children as adults that they will have to figure out. That's just the way it goes. I've already told them that. However, I hope that we've given them a good enough background to work through our mistakes.

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  3. I managed to flood the house just last week by leaving a tap dripping and the plug in the sink :) Just because they're out of home doesn't mean they're responsible!

    I'm glad you've got the cats to keep you busy :)

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    1. I hope you didn't cause to much damage with your flood. Also, there is no shortage of things to do around here, the least of which are the cats. Lucky has to go to the vet today and getting him in the carrier to go is quite the ordeal. Wish me luck.

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  4. I never had the tears and like you saw my job as being completed successfully when my boys headed out on their own. The most difficult situation I encountered was trying to figure out how little I needed to buy of food or how to reduce the size of what I made for meals.

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    1. The food thing is tricky, isn't it? You should be proud because it sounds like you've raised your boys to be successful adults. It's a hard job, but rewarding.

      How is your student discard sale coming along?

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  5. I'm not sure that this is much comfort, but my dad has said that sometimes he worries about his kids more now that they are all out of the house because he doesn't have the peace of mind that they are all safe under his roof at night. But I like to believe that he also takes some comfort/pride in his children's self-sufficiency. :)

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    1. I find it easier when I don't know where my kids are all of the time. When I knew when to expect them and they didn't show up, I got quite worried. Now, as long as I hear from them regularly, I'm pretty good. Not perfect, but pretty good.

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  6. Males do eat a lot - I have fed a husband and four sons for 28 years. Two of the boys still live with us, and I'm having a hard time adjusting what I cook as well. One thing you said about trying to not offer too many suggestions caught my attention: I didn't notice this until I overheard my husband telling someone else. My dad would make his suggestions about stuff to us by starting off with "You might want to think about...". John said he appreciated my dad's way of stating what to do without directly telling us what to do. This allowed us to think about another option to consider yet it still got to be our final decision. Now that I have two out of the nest and a DIL to love on I'm trying to keep myself in check too.

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    1. After we were out of the house, my parents offered no suggestions unless they were asked. That's not quite me. My kids don't seem to resent when we offer them advice, but I know that they need to figure some things out on their own. Your father had some very good phrasing. I'll try to use that.

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What do you think?