Thursday, January 30, 2014

Our Thinker's Courage

Theo was an interesting child. He was always thinking and seemed to be several steps ahead of most people especially his parents. He loved to read. But most of all, he loved to think. To analyze. To take ideas to their logical conclusion. To learn. To think.

But so you don't get the wrong idea, he was also a very active child. Hyperkinetic was the word one doctor used for him. He loved to experiment. That might mean cracking a dozen eggs on the floor at age two to see how they would blend with a pot of chili or filling his room with an entire spider web of yarn. That might also mean taking his toys apart to see how they worked but never putting them back together. Why bother, he told me many years later. He had already seen what was inside and didn't need to know anymore. And he never slept. Most people agreed. He was amazing and also a handful. Most people would have rather heard stories about him than try to keep up with him.

As I said, Theo was an interesting child. Everyone, parents, grandparents,and teachers had great plans for him. He would go to college, get at least a doctorate degree and come up with some great invention or business. The sky was the limit.

So he started college. He changed majors a few times and settled on Financial Economics. That was a topic far from my interests, but he and Ward would have great debates on the merits of different economic policies on the financial health of the world. Some classes interested him and some didn't. So college went along and had it's ups and downs. However, everyone still agreed that he was a great thinker. That was why we were shocked when he came to us in his final year of college and said that he was dropping out to become a clock and watch maker.

We had the typical parental reaction. A what? What are you thinking? Just finish the degree and then you can do something else. I was thinking about the plans everyone secretly had for him. Our thinker wants to work with his hands? Maybe Wally who was always tinkering and building things, but not Theo who rarely built things. But our thinker had thought it through. This was not a whim. For a while, he hadn't liked college or his major and when he started to interview for jobs, he knew that was it. He would not be happy in his field.

So our thinker thought about what kind of job he wanted. What kind of working conditions he desired. How much money he wanted to make and what kind of lifestyle he wanted to live. Then he researched to find a job that would satisfy those needs that there would always be a demand for. And he came up with clock and watch repair. He told us about his plans the day before he had an interview at the clock school. He started a week later and has never looked back. This all happened a year ago and he has totally embraced his new profession and is happier than he's ever been.


So I could say a lot of things here about following your passion or marching to the beat of your own drummer. But mostly I want to say that I admire my son for the courage he had to change the course of his life despite the unknowns. I also admire him for listening to what he really wanted and needed and not to what others wanted for him. Those are things I don't do easily. I hope that I can remember Theo's example then and again and make my life fit better who I really am.

Is change hard for you or are you excited when you try something different?

7 comments:

  1. Theo does sound like an interesting child! I think today's post touches on something that I, as a parent, need to think about more--just what constitutes "success"? How do I help my children discover their passion without pushing my own agenda on them? I've been thinking more about education recently. We are in an "okay" school district--I have been told by a couple of different people that we need to consider a different school district for our kids (who, like Theo, are both precocious learners) which has more AP courses and is a more affluent district than our primarily blue-collar community. We have felt that our kids have had an excellent education in their elementary years and I am hesitant to yank them out of a district that, thus far, I have been happy with. And so, I am trying to ask the "big" questions--what, ultimately, do I want to achieve with my kid's education? What is "success" in education and when do we know it has been achieved? I am trying to think beyond the popular mindset of "get your kids into a high-achieving school with lots of AP courses so they can get into a good college and their lives will then be lived happily ever after". Not that there isn't some wisdom in that thought process--I just don't like to do things mindlessly.

    Sorry for the rambling comment. I enjoy reading these kinds of posts because they help me think things through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kris, You have touched on many things that I have a lot of opinions about. If you want, send me an email and we can discuss it in more detail.

      Overall, I think this is another area where moderation applies. You want your kids to have a fairly high standard of education that challenges them and teaches them basic skills as well as critical thinking. But that doesn't mean that school has to be achievement at all cost to get into the best colleges. There are MANY good colleges out there that provide good educations. There is an interesting book, "Colleges that Change Lives" that suggest that the best educations come not from the top schools. They come from schools where the students haven't always been at the top of their classes and aren't afraid to ask questions. Your kids are still young, but I suggest you keep this book on your list for reading later.

      AP classes, that's another subject. Wally took a lot of AP classes and ended up with 25 credits most of which were not useful to him in college. Even though they counted as college hours, the school wanted him to take their own versions of many of those classes.

      What both of my kids have taught me is that one size doesn't fit all. Unfortunately, that's the model most schools use.

      Okay, that's my rambling comment for now.

      Delete
  2. I'm definitely interested in your thoughts--due to my ineptness at choosing an application to email you, I have sent you my email address via your "follow by email" section. It is helpful to me to hear the thoughts of those who have been in the trenches, so to speak. Getting into college is a different ball of wax from when I did it back in the stone age. My philosophy of parenting is that every stage builds on the next stage--for instance, kids who love to "read" before they actually CAN read will embrace reading and be better students who love learning for the sake of learning ... and so on. So I don't think 8 & 10 is too young to be thinking about this. By the same token, I'm not sure I want them to feel excess pressure in their middle-school/high school years. Thank you for your input!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh shoot, that will go to my hubby's account. Scratch that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm not sure what happened to my contact information on my blog, but I'll try to fix that. In the meantime, you can reach me at inggayle@gmail.com

      Delete
  4. Sounds like what I will be going through with my eldest...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish you luck. To say the least, parts of this journey were not easy.

      Delete

What do you think?