Live and Learn

In a nod to my byline of Live and Learn, I occasionally share things here that I've learned.

 I am all the time looking things up of no consequence, so I suppose I am learning things all the time. But does anyone care how old a celeb is or what channel a certain show is on? (Yes, I am that shallow) Not really. So I won't share those bits of wisdom I learned this week. Instead, I will share other inconsequential things that were new to me. 

1. Outback Steak Houses are brightening up their decor with murals. Wally and Theo took Ward out to Outback Steakhouse for Father's Day, and Theo pointed out that there was a big mural on the wall by the bathrooms. It was quite striking, with a koala in the middle wearing a Maryland flag, surrounded by other Maryland-themed items. I looked up the artist, The Artist Jones, and he lives in Florida, but is painting these themed murals at different Outbacks all over.

Shown are the MD state flower: black-eyed Susan, the MD state bird: Baltimore oriole, the MD state crustacean: blue crab, the lighthouse from MD's Eastern Shore, and the MD state flag wrapped around a koala. 

2. A muster station is a gathering place on a cruise ship where everyone gathers for safety drills or in case of an emergency. Ward is on a cruise this week with one of our line dancing groups. I am very prone to motion sickness, so I didn't want to go. However, he has been wanting to try a cruise, so this was a perfect opportunity. He texted me that they couldn't leave the port until everyone was at their muster station. I had to look up what that meant. 

3. You can't always find things on the internet. I was chatting with Miss Landers, and she mentioned that she doesn't like the rubber bands you buy these days because they are coated with a substance that makes them bitter. This is to discourage kids from eating them. I thought that made sense, but I tried looking up the details before I mentioned it here. I couldn't find that confirmed anywhere with many different searches. Miss Landers is usually a very reliable source, so it may be true. Or not. Did I mention I was going to share inconsequential things? 

4. More things are blooming in my yard. 

Until next time...

Book Reviews

 Here are a few things I've been reading recently.

The Paris Assignment by Rhys Bowen, Adult historical fiction, 2023.

What it's about: The Paris Assignment follows Madeline during WWII when she becomes a spy for Britain in France after her husband is missing and her son is supposedly killed in a train bombing.

What did I think? Overall, I liked the book. I especially liked the descriptions of the training and missions, which are the major part of the story. However, I found Madeline's hardships and victories to be a bit melodramatically written. 

What did others think? Good Reads and Amazon readers give it an A-.

Flora and Ulysses by Kate DiCamillo, children's fiction (elementary ages), 2013.

What it's about: Flora Belle, who is a self-described cynic and has read every Terrible Things Can Happen to You comic, finds a squirrel, Ulysses, with superpowers after he is sucked up into the neighbor's vacuum cleaner. Her parents are divorced, and her mother wants to kill Ulysses, and her father tries to help Flora save the squirrel. Chaos ensues as they sneak the squirrel away to save it. Throw in quirky neighbors to add to the amusing romp. Through it all, the characters learn about each other and themselves.

What did I think? I enjoyed the book. It was humorous, with heart. The book had numerous pencil drawings, and sometimes the story was written in panels, like the comic books Flora reads. These enhanced the story.

What did others think? The book won the Newbery Award in 2014. The award is given annually for the most distinguished children's book in America.

Carrie Soto is Back by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Adult fiction, 2022

What it's about: Carrie Soto, a world record-holding tennis player, decides to make a comeback at age 37 after a five-year absence from the game. She is coached by her father and practices with an older male tennis player who is trying to stay in the game. Romance eventually ensues. Carrie is brash and ruthless on the court and off, earning her the nickname of Battle Axe. The second time around, she learns more about herself and empathy for other players she didn't have before.

What did I think? I liked the book, and I think someone would appreciate it even more if they were a tennis player.  Most of the book is about the game of tennis and the tremendous amount of skill and practice that goes into making a championship player. Tension builds throughout the book, as Carrie plays her various matches. I will say that towards the end, I started to skim the details of the matches because I was impatient to see who won.

Reid has a way of making her stories seem like a documentary more than a novel, and this was no exception.

What did others think? Carrie Soto is Back had universally positive reviews (at least the ones I could find) and was #1 on the New York Times Best Seller list.

Magnolia Wu Unfolds It All by Chanel Miller, Children's fiction (elementary age), 2024.

What it's about: Magnolia is lonely and spends every day in her parents' laundry mat. At the laundromat, Magnolia has been pinning up loose socks she finds on a bulletin board, hoping they will find their mates. When Iris moves from California to New York City, Magnolia makes a friend, and they set out to find the socks' owners. They travel around their neighborhood in New York City and learn new things about themselves, their parents, and their neighbors. Also, the girls have to deal with racism along the way.

What did I think? I enjoyed the book and found the premise of looking for socks interesting. The book has many life lessons that are illustrated during the story, and I thought those were well done. For example, Iris is overwhelmed by the busyness of the city, and, in particular, by a flock of pigeons one day. Madeline tells her to pick out just one pigeon and pick out one feature on that pigeon and focus on that to calm herself. 

What did others think? This book was on many bestseller lists and was Amazon's best children's book for 2024. It was also a Newbery Honor Winner.

Until next time...

Thankful Sunday

Happy Father's Day 

I am thankful for my father and Ward. 

My father and mother, and my oldest sister, who first made them parents.
My father was home on leave from the army in this picture.

My father didn't have the easiest time growing up. After some setbacks, his father became an alcoholic to deal with his troubles. My father was the oldest boy and was often the brunt of my grandfather's bad moods. However, he made the dysfunction stop with him, and he provided a stable and loving home. And for that, I am thankful.*

Ward is a good father to Wally and Theo, and for that, I am thankful. It has made my job as a parent much easier.

 Here is an interview I did with Ward a few years ago about his thoughts on being a father.

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Ward is a great father, so I thought I would interview him this Father's Day to get his perspective on the important job of parenting.  I didn't time things very well and waited until he was in the middle of a work project to talk to him. Oops! I very kindly thank him for the time he was able to give me during my interruption.

Tell me about being a father. 

Newborn Wally.
This is when the doubts began.

It's spending your life not being sure what you are supposed to do. How much do I help my kids? How much do I protect them? How much do I give them? How much do I let them fail to learn? Even now that Wally and Theo are adults, I still worry about those things.

As you mentioned, Wally and Theo are now young adults. What do you see when you look at them?
I see responsible, kind people who can have an intelligent conversation and who know how to handle disappointment. Also, I see good drivers, and I am thankful that all of that stressful time of teaching them how to drive seems to have paid off.

Even though you were unsure of what you were doing, you have successfully raised two boys to adulthood. What advice do you have for new dads? 
I'm not sure. I still don't know if I have parenting figured out. But I'll give it a try. Educate yourself, but also use your common sense. Spend time with your kids and let them learn from your examples.

But here's something that Wally said the other day that may be the real key to successful parenting. He said that the best thing we did as parents was to keep trying. We'd try one thing to solve a problem, and it wouldn't work. And then we'd try something else, and it wouldn't work. We'd try another thing, and it wouldn't work either. But finally, we'd try something, and it would work! He is very grateful for the many times we didn't give up when it would have been a lot easier. So for new dads, I'd say, just keep trying.

Thanks. Next time, I'll make an appointment, and we'll have another conversation about some of the details of raising Wally and Theo.

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*Of course, my mother was an important part of this equation.

Until next time...

Throwback Friday

 In yesterday's Throwback Thursday post, I showed the difference between a bumblebee and a carpenter bee. There was some discussion about a bee vs. a wasp, so today I am rerunning a post that I did about that. This one is from May 2015.

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A Second Look Update--Bees

Smaller bee with larger ones to the side

I admit that, as far as bees go, I have very limited knowledge. To me, anything that buzzes and looks like it could sting is a bee. But as most of you know, not everything that looks like that is a bee. Some of them are wasps. And no matter how many times I try to learn the differences between the two, I don't remember for very long what they are. So here it goes again.

A papery, yellow jacket wasp's nest that I found
in the ground while I was weeding.
Yes, I did get stung.

Bees and wasps come from the same Order, Hymenoptera. After that, they differ in their Family, Genus, and Species. (Remember the taxonomy classifications for biology?) If you can get close enough to look at them, there are some physical differences. Bees are hairy, and wasps are smooth. Bees usually have a fatter and rounder abdomen than wasps. And if the buzzing insect is chasing you, it's probably a wasp. Wasps are more aggressive than bees. Find a papery nest in the ground; it belongs to a wasp. Bees make waxy hives. All bees are social insects, but not all wasps are. Some are solitary. Bees eat nectar, but wasps usually eat other insects, unless, of course, you have a can of soda around. 

And the list goes on. There are over 20,000 different species of bees and over 100,000 different kinds of wasps, so if I'm playing the odds, wasps should be my first guess when I'm trying to identify one or the other.

Even though I refamiliarized myself with some basic bee and wasp knowledge, I was at a loss to explain what I saw about a month ago during a Second Look. I saw a smaller bee/wasp attach itself to the bottom of a different kind of bee/wasp. So it was time to go for help. The first place I turned was my bee expert--a friend who raises honey bees. I sent her pictures and asked her what was going on. She had no idea, so she sent them to her local county extension agent. The extension agent had no idea what was going on, either, so she sent them to an entomology professor she knew at a large university. He didn't have a good answer, so he showed the pictures to all of his colleagues. And none of them could give a good explanation of what they saw. 

Smaller bee attached to the bottom of larger bee

However, here is the information that they did provide for what they saw in the pictures above.

The responses I have gathered from my colleagues agree that this type of interaction with carpenter bees* is unusual. Bees sometimes get in territorial disputes, but this doesn't appear to be the case in the pic.  Everyone agrees that the bee on the carpenter bee is probably not doing any harm.  Based on what they could tell from the photo and the host plant they are on, they believe the other bee is in the genus Osmia (e.g., blue orchard bee).  Why they are interacting like this is unclear. 

So I didn't get a definitive answer to my question, but I did learn a lot while looking for an answer. Now, let's see how long I can remember it. :)

*I called the big bees bumble bees in the original post, but they're not. They are carpenter bees as evidenced by their smooth abdomen. If they had been bumble bees, this area would have been hairy. Live and learn.

But Wait There's More:
--Did you know that male bees don't sting? The stinger is a modification of an ovipositer--an egg layer, so male bees have never had one to modify. This may be common knowledge for those of you in the know, but it was fascinating news to me.
--A good paint job is a good deterrent to the carpenter bees.

Sources:
http://www.diffen.com/difference/Bee_vs_Wasp

http://animals.pawnation.com/there-kind-bee-doesnt-sting-10377.html

http://www.everythingabout.net/articles/biology/animals/arthropods/insects/bees/

And some others that disappeared when my computer crashed. :(

Throwback Thursday

 Today, we're going back to June 2015, when I showed the difference between bumble bees and carpenter bees. I have since also learned that the carpenter bees usually show up earlier in the season than bumble bees, and they like the wooden bench on the front porch. Some day, the bench is going to fall down with all of the holes in it. As soon as we plug up one hole, a new one is drilled.

So, here's the throwback to June 18, 2015, which BTW was also on a Thursday. 

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More about Bees

I have explained before that I don't have much knowledge about bees or wasps, but I'm very slowly learning. This week, I was finally able to document one of the differences between carpenter bees and bumble bees. Before this year, big, yellow, and black striped bees were all bumble bees to me. As it turns out, I learned that carpenter bees look similar to bumble bees; however, carpenter bees are larger and have smoother abdomens, while bumble bees have furry abdomens. And from my experience, bumble bees move a lot faster and more often from bloom to bloom. So for a few weeks now, I thought I had been seeing bumble bees instead of carpenter bees, but they wouldn't hold still long enough to know for sure. Yesterday, I finally got a picture that confirmed my suspicions.

Notice the fuzzy abdomen of the bumblebee on the left and the smooth abdomen of the carpenter bee on the right.

So my knowledge is slowly increasing. Who knows? Maybe soon I will be able to reliably tell a bee from a wasp at first sight. Or maybe not. :)

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Until next time...