Friday, July 8, 2016

Simple Kindness



You hear it all the time. Be kind to others. You never know the impact you might have. You might make the day of someone who is having a hard time. I think most of us do try to be kind with a thank you here and smile there. Recently, I've gotten feedback to know that some very simple gestures really did make a difference.

The first was when Ward was in the hospital and I was walking around outside. A crossing guard stopped the traffic and to let me cross a street. I smiled and said thank you as I crossed, and he replied, "Thank you for that and your smile. You have just made my day." I don't know if he usually doesn't get any response or he was having a bad day, but he was genuinely appreciative of that very simple gesture. (BTW, Ward's doing great. He's recovering well.)

Aldi's carts waiting for their quarter.
Next was when I was loading my car after a shopping trip in Aldi. A woman carrying a squirming toddler came up and asked if I had a quarter. (You have to "rent" the carts for a quarter.) I told her that she could have my cart after I emptied it. And then I asked her if she needed some bags. (No bagging in Aldi.) And she said yes. I gave her a couple of bags from my car. She was extremely appreciative and so was the toddler because he now got to ride in a cart. People share their carts at Aldi all the time, but today it especially made this mother's day.

The next example was when I last visited my mother. We were in the dining room waiting for lunch. My sister and I were taking a couple of pictures of my mother when we noticed another resident watching us intently. We asked her and her son, who was with her, if they would like their picture taken. He said it was alright. His mother, who was pretty much nonverbal, just smiled. So we took a few pictures of them because she seemed to be enjoying it. When I got the pictures developed, I mailed them to my mother and included one of the mother and son to be passed on. When the son got the picture, he immediately took it to his truck so he wouldn't lose it. It turns out that it was the only picture he had ever had with him and his mother. He was very touched. You see, this son is there every day to feed his mother all of her meals. He shows such dedication and he's never had a picture with her. He was truly appreciative.

These are all examples of such simple things. I didn't go out of my way to do anything special, just normal things that all of us would do. But being kind really made a difference. So I'm gonna try to be kind all of the time even when I'm in a bad mood. All I have to do is remember the look on the mother and son's face and I think I will have motivation enough.

(Wish I could show you pictures of the other people, but I have to respect their privacy.)



16 comments:

  1. A timely post for a day like today. What you did required little effort and yet the impact on others was enormous. I feel so sad for the man who didn't have a picture of him with his mother until you took one and sent it to him. Nowadays we take hundreds of throw-away pictures every day (well, I do!) and yet just one picture can mean the world to someone. It also made me sad because it reminds me that I'm the picture taker in the family, which means that I'm never in any pictures unless I (or my daughter) take a selfie and I don't like those. One day my kids will have tons of pictures of themselves but none of me :( I sure hope they don't wait until I'm in the hospital or nursing home to take one and cherish it.

    I went to McDonald's this morning to redeem a freebie coupon and the line inside the store was long, with many people upset about their orders taking long or being wrong. Most of the workers were young, high-school age kids. I had a headache so I could have chosen to be snippy, but I recognized that the poor cashier was trying her best to keep a smile on her face so I gave her a great big smile as well and she looked so relieved and I felt good about not getting cranky and not making someone else's day even worse.

    I'm glad your husband is having a good recovery!

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    1. I am also the picture taker in the family and I sometimes ask my family to take pictures with me in it so we can remember I was there. If I ask specifically, they do it, but otherwise them don't remember. Pictures just aren't as important to them.

      Also, I have a friend who always said that she didn't need to be in any pictures with her grandchildren because she didn't like how she looked. Well, one of her grandchildren died suddenly at 15 months old and while she had lots of pictures of him, she didn't have any with both of them. She was very sad about that. Now she gets in pictures whether she wants to or not.

      Good for you for holding it together in MacDonalds. A headache and a slow line are not a very good combo.

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  2. Awwww, what a wonderful post! It's really amazing how tiny things can make a huge difference. I always make a point to try to be nice to people, and I'm always shocked when they seem surprised. The other day CatMan and I were on a bike ride, and we were sorta lost. Anyhow, we were on a wide sidewalk under an underpass trying to make sense of the GPS when I noticed a guy walking toward us. My bike was crossways blocking the sidewalk, so I moved it over to let the pedestrian pass us without having to step off into the street. A huge smile spread across his face and he said "thank you so much." It wasn't until after he'd passed us that I realized he was wearing some sort of ethnic headdress, and I wondered if he was often treated poorly because of it.

    I have a bit of a complex about my front yard because I don't water as much as I should, and I don't like to use week killer unless it's absolutely necessary. So one day I was out there pulling weeds and feeling overwhelmed by it, when I saw an older man walking down the street coming my direction. I was thinking that he was probably cursing me under his breath for having a weed factory in my yard, but as he walked past he smiled and said "That's the way to do it! The planet and future generations thank you!" That was 2 years ago and it's stuck with me because it was such a nice thing to say.

    Anyhow, I too am glad to hear that Ward is recovering nicely. Given all the events going on in our country these days, it just seems more important than ever to try to be kind to each other.

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    1. I would especially appreciate the weed comment. It seems as if I spend most of my summers pulling weeds.

      And you're right. A little kindness could go a long way in our country today as everyone seems angry. It's hard to be angry if someone is being nice to you. If the edge were off, maybe there could be some calm discussions.

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  3. This is a timely post, especially after this week's tragic events. Kindness costs nothing but you have no idea what the end payoff of it is.

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    1. Kindness costs nothing. So why is it so hard for some to extend kindness?

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  4. You're right about small kindnesses. My day has been changed when someone smiled at me.

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    1. When the crossing guard said that I made his day, he made mine. I was pretty stressed at the time, and it did make a difference.

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  5. I've been meaning to ask about Ward--thanks for the update!

    What a story about taking a picture of the son and his mom. How humbling to think that you had the opportunity to take the first (hopefully not the last!) picture of the two of them.

    I'm not at all surprised to hear that you (and everyone else who frequents your blog) do kind things for others. :)

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    1. When I found out how much the picture meant to him, I printed some copies of other poses and sent those also. I wish I could show you their picture. Even though his mother can't do much for herself and can't talk, she is the sweetest person and has a sweet smile to go with it.

      We're lucky to be in the kind/nice blog circle. All blogs and other social media are not always that way.

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    2. I think you have set the tone for kindness. :)

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  6. These are great examples of everyday kindness and so wonderful to read, especially after the Dallas incident that has broken a piece of my heart recently. Thank you for sharing! <3 This encourages me all the more to share smiles with strangers and say "Hi" and "excuse me" or other little comments :o)

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    1. I think all of our hearts have been broken with recent events. I can't save the world, but I'm gonna try to do my little part by being kind.

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  7. This is a great reminder that simple gestures as just saying 'hello' will brighten someone's day. The world is getting a bit crazy now, and we all need to remember this.

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    1. It certainly couldn't hurt. I think it all boils down to simple manners.

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  8. I have been thinking of you often and wondering how Ward was doing. I hope the rest of his recovery goes smoothly.

    I think the more we pull back from the world and "visit" through social media instead of get-together with friends and neighbors we have forgotten to be courteous and take the time to make contact with others.

    I can't even imagine how you felt learning the son had never had a picture of him and his mother. I'm sure he will cherish that photograph for years. What a wonderful gift you gave him.

    When I moved here I was dismayed by the rudeness I found all around me. My adult kids when visiting noticed the same. I was determined I would not allow the rudeness to change how I treated people. Little by little I have been seeing a change in the behavior of those I encounter as I go about my errands. It's time to step back and get to know the people we pass as we go through our days just like you do.

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