Thursday, December 10, 2015

Communication

Paper Christmas Cards--a dying breed
While working on our annual Christmas letter recently, I started to think about how the way we communicate has changed.  The number of people who send Christmas cards and letters is definitely decreasing. Even though I send out the same number every year, I am receiving fewer and fewer. I think part of this is because people just don't snail mail things much any more, and there's no need for an annual catch up because people keep in touch throughout the year with Facebook and other social media venues. And although there's a lot more to be explored in this area, this is not really what has gotten me thinking recently.

I was dropping off my car at the shop and John (the mechanic) was taking down numbers where we could be reached. As I gave several numbers between Ward and me, depending on the time of the day and who was where, John related this information. He said if his customer is younger, what he has to do is call them, let it ring once, and then hang up. They answer texts or will check who called and maybe call them back. However, rarely do they answer a ringing phone. He said when the customer gets along about 35 or 40 or older, he can talk to them directly first try. I was surprised by this. Granted, I am far behind in the smart device/phone world, but I would have never dreamed that this was common operating procedure. I, of course, use caller ID, but I do expect to answer some calls.

I not sure what all of this means in the grand scheme of the way communication is evolving, but I do know one thing for sure. That yes, indeed, I am well over 35 years old. I will answer a call from my mechanic.


13 comments:

  1. I was going to leave a comment here, but I cut it and put it on my blog instead. Thanks for the inspiration! Go read it, if you'd like.

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    1. Blogland is a place for sharing ideas and I'm happy if I inspire one every then and again. I read your comment and agree that everyone young and old answers the phone less than they used to. I have a bit more to say about it on your blog.

      If anyone wants, head on over to Grapeswrites and join the discussion over there about phone use.

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  2. The way people communicate via cell phone drives me crazy. For years I held out on adding texting to my plan because I just don't like it. I would tell people who texted me that I didn't have texting and to please call instead, but they continued to text and the charges continued to add up so I added texting.

    I have a son who hates to talk on the phone, always did, he will only text. After a few texts I will call him and he grudgingly answers because he realizes he's pushed my limit of patience with his texts.

    I've complained in the past about people who will sit in the same room and text each other rather than have an actual conversation. I think this bodes horribly for our future. but that's another topic all together.

    As for not answering the phone when your mechanic or any other business person who is doing you a service is in my opinion downright rude. I hadn't heard of this until just now but feel it's a habit that needs to be changed. When I had a car and took it to the shop I wanted my mechanic to call me to relate necessary charges for parts or to tell me when my car is done. This takes time away from actually doing repair work (unless they can afford to have an office person to make calls but most don't). So if my mechanic, doctor, or anyone else calls me I better show them respect by answering, if I can, on the first call.

    Oh, and the Christmas cards, I stopped sending so many years ago when the price of postage increased. I grew up watching my grandparents purchase a roll of 100 stamps at a time and pulling out their address book to write out notes in every card they sent. They sent so many that they pre-sorted them by location to help the post office but that was before you had drop off boxes for local and out of town.

    I think a lot of our traditions have changed. We used to bake and deliver cookies, cakes and such to all our friends instead of buying gifts. We left cookies out for the mail man, trash collector, teachers, dropped them off to doctor's offices if we had an appointment around the holiday season. How many even still bake for their own home? Now we buy gifts for teachers and pretty much skip leaving something for the rest of the people we interact with or do business with through the year.

    I hadn't thought too much about gift giving outside of family until just now, I might have a blog post forming from yours too. :-)

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    1. I don't text either, but I do see the benefits to it. If only it weren't used constantly for many. I guess it used to be all of the time until Facebook, Vine, Instagram, Twitter, etc. got added in. Now, I guess there's some variety to the "communication" that's happening. I haven't researched it, but I think some important brain activity is not happening when there is not some more interaction with the big world around. Constant screens can't be what's best for us.

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  3. I do believe there is a generational divide forming with all this new technology. I still don't actually know how to text, and I'm sorta fine with that. Nobody in my little circle texts, so for the moment I've turned off the service on my cell phone because the only texts I've ever gotten have been spam and I'll be darned if I'm gonna pay to let somebody spam me!

    But I did just buy CatMan an iPhone for his birthday, and he said how he's looking forward to learning how to text... so we'll see how long I can remain a holdout.

    Anyhow, a while back - several years ago at this point - I read an article about a middle school teacher who challenged his students to go an entire week with no texting and no social media. Most of the kids didn't make it until the end of the hour, let alone a whole day or week. But a few embraced the experiment and their comments were hilarious. They said things like "This must be what it was like in the olden days, when you actually had to TALK to people!" Oh my!

    I dunno... I mean there is something to be said for picking and choosing when you're gonna talk to someone - and the rate at which those smartphones buzz at you and demand your attention is nothing short of dizzying, so I can see why people wouldn't want to take calls all the time. I mean, I don't even leave mine turned on, so if I'm not available, they just have to leave a message. Remember when we were kids and there were no such things as answering machines or call waiting? People just had to call back if they couldn't reach you. Perhaps the not answering the phone thing is a result of living in a world where the phone is always there buzzing at you! If I had grown up in that world I'd be inclined not to answer the thing either!

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    1. And do you remember when people first started getting answering machines, they were considered rude and people were looked down upon them that used them? Times have really changed a lot in a relatively short amount of time.

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  4. Ooh, methinks you have touched a nerve! ;)

    I receive about the same amount of cards as I always have--I think, perhaps, because I am in the child-raising time of life and we parents sorta love to send picture cards of our little darlings. If you go through a company to create a card, though, make sure you change the sample name on the card to your own name. Don't ask me how I know that. Ha.

    I think the problems with all of the electronic methods of communication include that 1) we haven't, as a society, developed appropriate manners for using these different modes of communication and 2) there is no one standardized way to contact people any more. Our school system sends out texts, emails, and (depending on the urgency of the situation, such as a school cancellation) robo-calls. I don't have a smart phone but I have a landline, talk/text cell phone, and email. I don't use Facebook or Twitter or anything like that--frankly, I have no interest in being accessible 24/7. It's so hard to know how to contact people--I find it a little selfish of people when they ignore traditional methods of being contacted, such as phone calls--I think we parents (I'm including myself in this!) need to help our kids be aware that life doesn't revolve around them and they need to be sensitive to other people's budgets (not everyone can afford a smart phone) and physical challenges (I like texting for quick messages but if someone has visual issues or arthritis, texting becomes much more difficult).

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  5. Did you actually send out a card with the sample name on it, or did you catch it before they went in the mail? I bet that's a fairly common mistake. During the rush of trying to get everything done during the holiday season, people may be a bit distracted during their proof reading.

    Also, you bring up two important additional points--not everyone has the money or dexterity to use the latest gadgets. It's pretty self centered to assume otherwise. And self centered is how a kid is wired, so you're right. It our jobs as parents to teach them otherwise.

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    1. Well, truthfully, I'm wired to be self-centered, too ... having kids has made me more aware of that! I got a texting-friendly phone when I realized that we were making life difficult for our son's baseball coach by not being able to receive texts--he wanted to be able to send out mass texts to communicate with all team members for cancellations, practice changes, etc., and he had to go to extra effort to call us. It was time for me to change some of my communication habits! (still working on the hubby ... ).

      I caught the mistake on our cards when I got home. Usually I check things out in the store more thoroughly, but I was in a hurry, so I just glanced at the picture. Walgreens was really good about working with me to correct it. We got a good laugh out of it--I was tempted to send them out with the mistake on it to see how many people would catch it. Just call me Daisy ...

      My siblings keep pushing my mom to learn to email (she used to know how) but I don't think they understand how much of a struggle it is for her, with her macular degeneration, to see the computer screen. Mom and I were just talking about this today so her struggle is fresh in my mind. I'm hoping we can do some adaptations to make it easier for her to use, but frankly, in her shoes, if something was too much of a struggle to do, I just wouldn't bother--I bet that's how a lot of people feel about keeping up with the latest technology. Younger people not only have grown up with it, but (typically) they have more free time to spend mastering the skills--they don't yet have kids to raise or elderly parents to assist or their own health struggles to manage.

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    2. My mother used to email all the time, but I think it's beyond her at this point. It's sad, but that's the reality.

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  6. I used to have a card pole every year. I'd tuck Christmas cards I receive into the decorated pole. But now, I only get a handful of cards. I've sent out ten so far, but have received none.

    My older brother does everything by text. I never hear from him, but if lucky, might get a short text or two. He's over 60. My younger brother is a big texter also, but he does answer sometimes when I call him. I only have access to text because my brother put me on his plan and sent me a phone. Otherwise, I wouldn't even have a phone. So I'm lucky. Lots of people cannot afford phones, except pay as you go net10 or trac phones. But net10 does have a great plan. I had that for awhile, but then couldn't do it either. It was $25 a month for 1000 minutes or texts. That's not bad.

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    1. The problem I had with prepaid and not much money was when I'd call for a doctors appointment or some customer service thing, and be put on hold, sometimes for 20 minutes or more, eating up my monthly minutes. I solved that with google talk, which is fabulous. And free. I got a cheap microphone at the dollar store and then I could call out and not waste minutes being on hold. I still use it if I lose my phone, to call it, so I can find it.

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    2. I'm gonna have to check out both net10 and Google Talk. Right now I have a Trac phone that's cheaper than anything else I've checked into.

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What do you think?